My understanding is that it’s not so much very high negative stakes (usually, at least), it’s more a continuous tax. You have to always be playing PR games and be aware that there is a subset of readers that will treat your lack of involvement as surrender and implicitly granting a point. Their numbers will depend on the place and topic, of course, as e.g. I’d expect a lot more of this on twitter than on a random knitting forum. There’s also the additional problem that they tend to be quite vocal.
You can ignore all of this and just be weird, but that has it’s own costs, which aren’t always visible. Cultivating an appropriate image only works if you have a reputation and/or are so obviously strange that you won’t be judged by the usual standards—if you seem “normal”, you get judged by “normal” standards, which depending on whatever someone thinks is normal, can include “if you don’t push back, you’ve lost the interaction”.
edit:
I also think Duncan is doing a different version of this
Aren’t both of these the obvious things? In that the obvious thing is what comes to mind that has a chance of working?
The main thing is to show proof of work. Any work that isn’t just busy work. You’re showing you’re serious about the problem, rather than just wanting to complain about it.
So if you e.g. complain that you’re fat and can’t seem to get your weight down, then the obvious things would be e.g. going to the gym a couple of times a week for a month or two, or actually properly dieting. If after this you still can’t get your weight down, then you’ve demonstrated that you’ve actually tried to solve your problem.
Another version of this point is this chart for tech support.
There are cases where someone might not be able to come up with any obvious approaches. These are rare. Most people just don’t actually think about problems they want to solve.