Came for the Harry Potter fanfic, a positive vision of what do with atheism, and the anti-death ethos. Stayed for the good thinking.
I really like math and physics. I can program but am not a programmer—I’d have to learn how to make a website and struggle to handle more than a couple hundred LOC. Learning a little Haskell made me enjoy coding again, I’d like to get better at it.
I’m currently very bad at following through on commitments. I hope to fix this by tomorrow. I’ll probably fail, but I shoot for getting it down before my fifty thousandth tomorrow.
I find the miscalibrated intuition that fun things won’t be fun the second most insidious part that cluster of feelings, as it impairs my ability to recover. (The most insidious part is how it becomes harder to notice that my mental state is unusual).
Another factor is that I’ll also find that fun things will take longer to start being fun. So I’ll start doing something that’s usually fun, notice how I’m still not feeling anything, and then feel less motivated to keep at it until it feels fun again.
A mitigating factor is that I usually feel apathetic when this happens, and so I can just keep going through the motions without being made sadder. This is easiest when no active effort is required on my part, which is why I find listening to music usually effective.
The hardest part, then, is getting over the hump of starting (as with everything else in my life). Music only requires me to put in the earbuds from my pocket and play from a playlist on my phone, which makes it really low effort.