[For clarity, this is best seen as directed and the exchange rather than just Zack’s post.]
I wonder if the starting point of apologies are an acknowledgement of harm is correct. I suspect a more accurate statement is that apologies are sometimes such an acknowledgement but other times are doing something quite different. Similarly, I wonder why it seems the idea of accepting some apology implies or requires forgiveness/absolution.
I’m also curious what the authors’ views might be if we flip the situation. Forget “I’m sorry.” and replace that with “Thank you.”. Is there some symmetry? Should there be? The argument, as I understood them, suggest symmetry might be implied and if so do all the arguments still make sense?
Quite true, but doesn’t that suggest one question even using the word naive(ly)? In what sense is it adding value to the exchange? If the point is why someone is missing/ignoring X and Y then perhaps it’s important. But if the exchange is about why and how X and Y matter using that terms seems like it runs a risk of derailing the constructive input.