Religion is Good, Actually

This is a casually written post in a series about what I wish someone had told me when I was younger.

I know this one will be controversial, so I have a request: please only vote on this post if you actually read the whole thing. Don’t just vote to yell “boo religion” or “yay Gordon” or something. That’s not really helpful and goes against site norms.

Note to mods: this is maybe a good example of a post that would benefit from top-level agree/​disagree voting in addition to karma votes.

I didn’t grow up religious in any real sense. My parents were raised Protestant Christians. They certainly brought me up with much of the ethos of it, but we never went to church other than on very rare occasions. I have almost no memories of going to church. The only time I can remember going was for my youngest sister’s baptism.

They did tell us Bible stories, but I basically thought of them the same way as Greek myths: stories about people in the past who did fantastical things. I had no idea that some people took these stories super seriously.

So it came as some surprise when, one day in 7th grade, one of my friends asked me during PE if I was a Christian. I was like “uh, what’s a Christian?”. He asked me some questions about Jesus and I was like “who? what?”. Then he asked “do you celebrate Christmas?”. “Yeah,” I said. “Okay, then you’re a Christian! You should come to our meeting after school!”

I quickly found out a few things:

  • Some of my friends were Christians now and that meant they sometimes did Christian-only things without me—unless I converted.

  • I was, not exactly a bad person, but a person to be pitied and to be held at arms length as long as I wasn’t formally a Christian. Like they could be nice to me but we couldn’t be close.

  • They were glad I was baptized as a baby but that wasn’t enough.

  • If I wanted to become a Christian I’d have to believe some rather fantastical claims were literally true.

Over the next few years Christians gave me a lot of trouble. Some of them objected to things like evolution and the big bang and were annoying distractions in science class. Some of them told me I was going to burn in hell for eternity. But mostly they forced an identity on me—atheist—and I had to figure out what that meant, why I should feel bad about it, and eventually how to defend myself to Christians.

I eventually grew to like being an atheist. It was fun to argue with Christians and poke holes in their beliefs. I got to be a cool outcast fighting the good fight for truth and rationality.

But eventually, maybe 7 or 8 years ago, I began to suspect that I was mistaken about something. The Christians still clearly believed a lot of strangely specific and wrong things, and they were still strangely obsessed with believing things because there was no evidence as a “test of faith”. But I began to realize that maybe there was something useful about religion.

What is religion? There’s a bunch of formal definitions. I’m going to say it’s this: a religion is a cultural and social thing where people seriously dedicate themselves to something, demonstrate their dedication via acts and beliefs, and by doing so live a life they consider more worth living than if they didn’t.

That’s pretty broad and not a normal definition of religion. Why would I want to define it like this? So I can capture lots of things that have the shape of religion but don’t have content everyone would agree is sacred.

Some things I’d consider religions but traditional definitions don’t always include. Note that for some of these some people do these things as religions and others don’t.

  • Sports fans. They dedicate themselves to their team, engage in ritual behaviors to demonstrate support for their team or try to bring about victory, and they get enjoyment out of rooting for their team alongside their fellow fans.

  • Early-stage startups. People who join early startups are dedicated to making something happen (whatever thing it is the startup is building), engage in rituals like stand-ups and commuting and code review to bring a product into existence, and they like doing it, especially since they expect to gain large rewards if they succeed.

  • Effective altruism. People who identify as EAs care about doing the most good, they believe weird things like expected value calculations are better indicators of what’s most good than feelings, they commit themselves to things like earning to give or working on projects that don’t pay well but that they believe will have outsized impacts, and they honestly believe that the world will be better off because they did more good by applying the methods of effective altruism.

Why such an expansive definition? Because it’s my belief that humans are naturally religious. Our minds are structured to be part of a culture with certain features and the way you get those features is by creating religions in approximately the sense I mean here. The things humans want out of religions:

  • meaning

  • rituals

  • fellowship (creating an ingroup)

  • life advice/​guidance

Lots of people think they don’t want these things, though, so what gives? My guess is that the people who say they don’t want these things are mostly responding defensively to having been previously harmed by one or more religions. It might have even been a traditional big-R Religion like Christianity or Islam or Judaism or Hinduism or Buddhism or something else. So if someone tries to get them to do rituals or give them advice in a “religious” context they get weirded out and want to run away from it.

But I’m here to say that religion as a concept is good. Any particular religion or religious organization might be bad. This is no different than how food as a concept is good but particular foods might be bad for you.

Religion, as I see it, fills a critical psychological need for humans. Without sufficient religion, we’re lost. We suffer a meaningness crisis, if you will. Lots of Western people suffer from this today, especially if they are well educated. They’ve thrown off traditional religion and are uncomfortable with getting too close to substitute religions, and if they do get close they’re unwilling to acknowledge it as a religion (and, given how religion is normally defined, that’s pretty reasonable).

But having meaning in your life is great. Having rituals to perform is comforting. Having fellowship means you’re never lonely. Having a ready source of life advice means you can just live a better life by learning from the hard-won experience of others.

My own journey was to find a traditional religion that I clicked with. I spent about 2 years doing everything I could to find any other solution. In the end, I realized I could only get what I needed if I started to show up and worship/​practice with other people in a shared tradition. Hence why I’m now an ordained lay practitioner of Soto Zen, even taking on the dharma name Seidoh as a sign of dedication (and my name translates as “sincere way”, just in case you weren’t clear how dedicated I am).

So, in the end, I’m not going to say you should run out and become a Christian or join whatever local religion is popular. Probably that would end badly in a bunch of ways and whatever reason you already have to not want to do that stands. But what I am going to claim is that you need one or more religions, as I’ve construed them, in your life, and your life is impoverished without them.