That just means you’ve not seen that many wikis. ;-) For example, the ConnectedText personal wiki software includes backlinks, date-specific pages, and graph visualization of link structures, much like Roam. It also has the ability to include pages in others, and some of Roam’s other features could likely be emulated using CT’s scripting and templating systems, though it’d be a pain.
I actually own a copy of an older version of CT but stopped using it many years ago because it’s not terribly interoperable with anything else.
I’m not sure I understand your question. In order to think that there’s a problem with how much love he’s providing, you have to have a counterfactual in which he’s supposed to be providing more. For the amount of love to be insufficient, there has to be something to compare it to. If you aren’t (implicitly) comparing, then there is nothing to draw it to your attention in the first place.
In other words, you wouldn’t keep saying “I guess he didn’t”, because if you’re not comparing, then there’s not an issue any more—it’s just history, not an unresolved problem.
It sounds to me like the experience you’re talking about is incomplete grief, like maybe a description of a situation where someone is accepting (at least intellectually) that they aren’t going to get the love they want in the future, but has yet to accept that they didn’t get it in the past. Because as long as they think they should have gotten it, the grieving is still incomplete.
As for deadening, letting go of things generally makes us more alive, not less, because we stop obsessing over the things we can’t change, and move on to enjoying what we have (or can actually get). But before one actually lets go of something, the idea of letting go feels like it would be a loss.
As I suggested in the article, our brains treat unacknowledged losses like they are still assets on our inner books of utility. So the idea of writing off a loss feels like it is a loss. But once the write-off is actually done, then it no longer feels like a loss, because it’s now the status quo, and therefore it doesn’t keep coming back to conscious attention the way a perceived threat of loss does.