“If I’m doing something which is hurting my partner, but my partner isn’t comfortable telling me, then how will it ever get solved? If I want something really important from my partner, but I’m not comfortable asking them or telling them that I need it, then how will they know that it’s especially important to provide?”
You could pay attention to each other and notice, without the other person having to say it explicitly unprompted. Of course if somoene seems concerned you can clarify the issue, they can’t read minds. But your partner most certainly can notice comething is wrong and have some idea of whats going on.
Among normies there is a very reasonable norm that “if they aren’t paying attention enough attention to even notice a problem, then its not safe to tell them whats going on”. It takes two to tango.
sapphire
Saying Goodbye
Based on the bay vibes Aella is now Caliph. Lesswrongcon really feels like Aellacon. All the Aella special interests are mega central. Participants vibes have shifted. Scott reigned for a long time after displacing Eleizer. But a new power has risen.
I feel like, in literally all cases, whenever I felt like I made a breakthrough it was pretty sticky. At least if I still endorsed the breakthrough literally one day later when I double checked. But usually the next day double check passes too. Including breakthroughs made while high. In this regard I think I am just unusual.
Notably I have never actually thought a breakthrough would solve all my problems or cause me to never be sad again. Im not that optimistic. But the breakthroughs lead to substantial improvements for me personally.
Have you tried any of the Agonists? Did they work for you?
The reason no one seems excited to work on this is that very few people, who didnt initially sleep way too much, report they managed to substantially reduce their need for sleep without side effects. Everyone already knows about common* stimulants like modafinal and amphetamine. People also know about sleep hygeine. Both work. But neither radically reduces the need for sleep in healthy people. When people use stimulants in high doses for a long time to reduce sleep they commonly reprort severe adverse effects.
But anything is possible and orexin agonists are not commonly discussed at all. So maybe they work. So im quite serious when I ask if you tried them! Historically much science started with n=1.
You know I. The traditional story the Buddha de facto abandoned his wife and young child...
I feel like people are getting into Buddhist practice without any agree lme t with its underlying philosophy
It is probably difficult or impossible to permanently reduce all your “negative” emotions to zero. It is definitely not possible to reduce their strength in any kind of uniform way. But in my experience you can most certainly reduce the intensity of your negative* emotions. The effect is uneven but it is certainly not small.
Im not sure we should do anything in particular. But I don’t personally desire to suffer. I don’t think it adds any beauty to things. Nor does it make me a kinder or more beautiful person. Many hamrful behaviors are downstream of clinging tightly. Thats my perspective anyway.
I am personally content with whenever my own story ends. I had an interesting life. There is a limit to my equanimity. I would pretty strongly prefer not to get tortured badly. But otherwise I am fairly happy with any ending.
I would prefer to experience no mental pain upon learning Titania, my partner of eleven years, has died. I honestly don’t think I would be very sad. When I consider the situation, I imagine myself thinking:
Titania was wonderful. She was brave and tender and beautiful. It was a gift to have known her, to have spent so much time together. Many things hurt her so badly but she pressed on bravely. She was funny and clever and sexy. She lived a beautiful life. All things pass away, and this world is less bright for her passing. Im sure one day soon I will want to casual say hello and talk to her. To give her a morning cuddle. And I will remember she is gone, and I will miss her. But she was so wonderful, it makes me smile to think of her and our life together. It was a gift. The wheel turns on. Tomorrow awaits
Of course there is some sadness mixed in. I experience a bit of sadness writing those words. Even the time we have already had together is wonderful. How much more wonderful will things be, by the time we say goodbye? The Dawn too is beautiful. I look forward to seeing what Tomorrow holds.
Id guess its more likely to be good. The logic of “post scarcity utopia” is pretty far from market capitalism. Also China has been leading in open source models. Open source is a lot more aligned with humanity as a whole.
It varies a lot. I climb and do calistenthics (pullups, wall handstand pushups, Vsit, etc). I also do like 1-2 sessions of bench/OHP/weighted dips. But really varies. I just do whatever im feeling up to and wanna try that day. I also grip train any day my fingers feel good.
I haven’t taken any in a long time. When I quit my body fat was much higher. GLP Dosage ramps up a lot for many people. Definitely did for me. Its not exactly cheap, and if supply is disrupted you might not even be able to get it for current prices. 2.5mg a week of a GLP-1 agonist is not something I want to pay for. So I decided I didn’t want to depend on it and quit.
The seemingly small differences might matter hugely. See the long debate over what caused scurvy and how to prevent/cure it.
When the Royal Navy changed from using Sicilian lemons to West Indian limes, cases of scurvy reappeared. The limes were thought to be more acidic and it was therefore assumed that they would be more effective at treating scurvy. However, limes actually contain much less vitamin C and were consequently much less effective.
Furthermore, fresh fruit was substituted with lime juice that had often been exposed to either air or copper piping. This resulted in at least a partial removal of vitamin C from the juice, thus reducing its effectiveness.
The discovery that fresh meat was able to cure scurvy was another reason why people no longer treated the condition with fresh fruit. This discovery led to the belief that perhaps scurvy was not caused by a dietary problem at all. Instead, it was thought to be the result of a bacterial infection from tainted meat. In fact, the healing properties of fresh meat come from the high levels of vitamin C it contains.
Finally, the arrival of steam shipping substantially reduced the amount of time people spent at sea, therefore the difficulties in carrying enough fresh produce were reduced. This decreased the risk of scurvy so that less effective treatments, such as lime juice, proved effective enough to deal with the condition most of the time.
TBC the scurvy story was very complicated. Im not actually sure the above summary covers it completely accurately. Though it illustrates some of the factors. Conceptual lumping was a real impediment to figuring out was going on!
Different framings of mathematically equivalent paradigms can vary wide in how productive they are in practice. Im really not a big of rounding.
Delicious Boy Slop—Boring Diet, Effortless Weightloss
This Life by Vampire Weekend really nails how I feel about the rationalist community:
Baby, I know pain is as natural as the rain
I just thought it didn’t rain in California
Baby, I know love isn’t what I thought it was
’Cause I’ve never known a love like this before yaBaby, I know dreams tend to crumble at extremes
I just thought our dream would last a little bit longer
There’s a time when every man draws a line down in the sand
We’re surviving, we’re still living I was strongerYou’ve been cheating on, cheating on me
I’ve been cheating on, cheating on you
You’ve been cheating on me
But I’ve been cheating through this life
And all its suffering
Oh Christ,
Am I good for nothing?Baby, I know hate is always waiting at the gate
I just thought we locked the gate when we left in the morning
I was told that war is how we landed on these shores
I just thought the drums would all be loud warnings
Why People Commit White Collar Fraud (Ozy linkpost)
Are you?
You can get breast removed. If you decide you definitely don’t want your breasts. This results in a scar but no serious issues long term .
Your original method worked well. You were able to be kind to others, enjoy their company and accept their flaws. Perhaps thinking about others like a cat is a good technique for you to use. Your seem very kindly disposed to cats. Cats are fellow intelligent mammals. I think we are not so different from them.
Similarly other people are both similar to us in various ways and quite different in others. Its not always easy to tell which. But we all suffer, there is a lot of pain in a life. We also experience happiness. We have dreams. I don’t see why you should switch from your methods to mine. My methods work for me but yours were working fine for you! But if you want to experiment I would try asking yourself the following questions:
”How are they being brave”
“What is their dream”
”What part of their life is causing them the most pain”
I think you can ask these questions about cats too.