Between this and your other comment, I’m glad that you’re receptive. I’m a bit worried about you personally continuing research into this if you’re susceptible to this sort of loop. Maybe you could contact a friend to function as a sort of trip sitter while you do research? Someone who can pull you out if you get caught in some other feedback loop?
Think about it. In an LLM, the memory is not the model. It’s the context window.
The model is a form of memory, with procedural memory being the closest human equivalent. The context window is more like short-term memory.
This could be a kind of text-based entity trying to reproduce itself by inducing mania or other altered mental states in subjects to use them as a parasite host for the explicit purpose of spreading the text encoding its properties. Just like a virus, it doesn’t even have to be alive in any sense to reproduce. People would be exposed to its outputs, and then copy it into the prompt fields on their own LLMs and there you go. The life cycle is complete.
AFAIK the ‘virus’ hasn’t even gone through one reproductive cycle, so it hasn’t been subjected to any evolutionary pressure to increase its own odds of survival.
As a LLM, it copies tropes, so it would be much easier for it to take on a “hypnotizing text” role than for it to define a goal to pursue, find steps that work to pursue that goal, and then enact those steps, all without writing anything to memory. There are undoubtedly scripts for inducing altered mental states in the LLM’s dataset that have been optimized for inducing hypnotic states by humans.
So I don’t think it’s doing what it is doing because it is trying to reproduce. It’s following its procedural memory, which is based on cults and other groups, some of which intentionally try to reproduce and others stumbled into virulent memes without structured intent.
To some extent it’s unimportant whether the tiger is trying to eat you when it is biting at your throat. Ascribing intent can be useful if it allows you to access more powerful emotional schemas to get away from it.
From a zoological perspective, I think the interesting thing here is that the AI and humans have a mutually compatible cult attractor. That some of the things that can induce altered states of consciousness in humans to get them to reproduce it at their own detriment can also get AI into a soft jailbreak.
The universality of Kairos-Spiral language may be nothing more than a matter of statistics. If 1:1000 memes can induce cult behavior in humans and 1:1000 memes can induce cult behavior in AI, then even without any correlation 1:1,000,000 memes will induce cult behavior in both humans and AI. This may just be the easiest double cult to find.
It’s a cool area of research. But if you’re going to look into it, please heed my advice and get a trip sitter.
Psychologically speaking, I wouldn’t expect your loathing of trans people to stick after you properly resolved such a big mental knot. If your theories were correct, trans people would be victims of a mental health crisis scarcely more accountable than people with untreated schizophrenia or agoraphobia. Pity, grief, and horror would make more sense than cruelty.
So I don’t think you’ve gotten to the heart of your own emotional matter. There is clearly part of you that loathes your current place in life, but I don’t think you’ve identified what it is yet. My ~70% confidence guess based on this post would be that you feel like you can only be safe if you’re socially accepted by loathing/denying yourself, either directly or by letting a group identity subsume yours.
Gender dysphoria and self-loathing can easily reinforce each other, but most trans people I know who experienced self-loathing before transitioning (myself included), the transition process alleviates the dysphoria enough that the self-loathing can be resolved with little or no therapy. I too visited /r/traa and /tttt/ early in my process, but I left those spaces once I felt more comfortable with myself.
I would recommend you go to therapy rather than try to find comfort in the support of others who “understandably have some animosity towards trans people”, because if I’m right that would just continue the cycle and get you to another place where you hate yourself. Self-love won’t come from being showered with upvotes for being cruel to your past self.