“Not invoking the right social API call” feels like a clarifying way to think about a specific conversational pattern that I’ve noticed that often leads to a person (e.g. me) feeling like they’re virtuosly giving up ground, but not getting any credit for it.
It goes something like:
Alice: You were wrong to do X and Y.
Bob: I admit that I was wrong to do X and I’m sorry about it, but I think Y is unfair.
discussion continues about Y and Alice seems not to register Bob’s apology
It seems like maybe bundling in your apology for X with a protest against Y just doesn’t invoke the right API call. I’m not entirely sure what the simplest fix is, but it might just be swapping the order of the protest and the apology.
Just wanted to say that I am a vegan and I’ve appreciated this series of posts.
I think the epistemic environment of my IRL circles has always been pretty good around veganism, and personally I recoil a bit from discussion of specific people or groups’ epistemic virtues of lack thereof (not sure if I think it’s unproductive or just find it aversive), so this particular post is of less interest to me personally. But I think your object-level discussion of the trade-offs of veganism has been consistently fantastic and I wanted to thank you for the contribution!