Have you tried expanding out of Anglo-Saxon culture? Here in France, flirting is a more common and comfortable mode of interaction, a form of adult politeness, without the underlying cultural codes that make it awkward in the US.
Painting with a coarse brush: Americans value childhood over adulthood, equate sex with violence, and polarize gender roles. The French value adulthood, see sex as a refined pleasure, and tolerate emotion in men.
A lot of this might be very cultural.
Sources:
Clotaire Raspail, “Culture Codes”
Personal experience: 23 years in the US, 23 years in France.
Like, we can imagine that I (in the UK) might flirt with someone by telling her “you’re very pretty”, and she’d likely receive subtext like “philh is possibly interested in going on a date with me, or kissing me, or having sex with me”. (Or something. I don’t claim to be an expert in flirting.)
Is it that in France, it’s common for a man to tell a woman “you’re very pretty” (or “tu es très jolie” according to Google translate), and it would still have that subtext? And maybe additional stuff like “in the UK there’s a higher bar for expressing that subtext than in France; in the UK you’re not supposed to express that subtext if you’re in a relationship with someone else, where in France it’s fine”?
I’m confused by what is meant by “flirting” as an activity if its separated from the romantic context? How is that distinguished from friendly conversation?
Have you tried expanding out of Anglo-Saxon culture? Here in France, flirting is a more common and comfortable mode of interaction, a form of adult politeness, without the underlying cultural codes that make it awkward in the US.
Painting with a coarse brush: Americans value childhood over adulthood, equate sex with violence, and polarize gender roles. The French value adulthood, see sex as a refined pleasure, and tolerate emotion in men.
A lot of this might be very cultural.
Sources:
Clotaire Raspail, “Culture Codes”
Personal experience: 23 years in the US, 23 years in France.
Hm, to clarify...
Like, we can imagine that I (in the UK) might flirt with someone by telling her “you’re very pretty”, and she’d likely receive subtext like “philh is possibly interested in going on a date with me, or kissing me, or having sex with me”. (Or something. I don’t claim to be an expert in flirting.)
Is it that in France, it’s common for a man to tell a woman “you’re very pretty” (or “tu es très jolie” according to Google translate), and it would still have that subtext? And maybe additional stuff like “in the UK there’s a higher bar for expressing that subtext than in France; in the UK you’re not supposed to express that subtext if you’re in a relationship with someone else, where in France it’s fine”?
I’m confused by what is meant by “flirting” as an activity if its separated from the romantic context? How is that distinguished from friendly conversation?
Yes, this is exactly what I’m getting at, and why motivations for flirting matter.