To which “Well, that color/style/fit/whatever doesn’t particularly flatter you. Shall we look for something else?” is an acceptable response in any relationship I’m willing to care much about preserving, all else being equal.
But, sure, one can easily imagine situations in which all else is not equal. (Which is to say, I don’t share the OP’s view.)
Tangentially: someone asked me roughly that question once, somewhat tongue-in-cheek. I replied, roughly, “Hypothetically speaking, given a choice, would you rather have evidence that a friend of yours was willing to answer questions honestly even when the honest answer incurred a potentially high social cost, or would you rather have evidence that your friend was willing to conceal an unpleasant truth so as to spare your feelings?” They thought about it for a bit and somewhat hesitantly chose the former, and I told them they looked lovely (which they did). That left them puzzled for quite a while.
Your comment qualifies as a proof that I disrespect most people, including some of my loved ones. You could view it as a reductio ad absurdum of my opinion, or of your opinion; whichever you like better.
You’re presuming that the person in question wants to hear the truth. If they don’t, then the truly respectful response is not the same as the honest one.
And you’re presuming that if you respect someone you should just give them what they want...
I’m astonished that so many people advocating the spread rationality don’t strongly object to allowing people you presumably care about to continue their delusions.
And you’re presuming that if you respect someone you should just give them what they want...
Okay, let me correct my previous line: If they don’t, then the truly respectful response is not necessarily the same as the honest one. Of course there are situations where you should tell the truth, even if the other person doesn’t want to hear it right then. But there are also many situations where people are genuinely better off with their delusions, and breaking them would only do harm.
Advocating the spread of rationality does not give you a license to impose your own preferences on others regardless of how they feel about it. That includes the case where your preference is “people should only believe in true things”.
Advocating the spread of rationality does not give you a license to impose your own preferences on others regardless of how they feel about it. That includes the case where your preference is “people should only believe in true things”.
No it does not. But their asking me the question gives me a license to answer it honestly.
I think the standard refutation is supposed to be “Does this dress make me look fat?”...
To which “Well, that color/style/fit/whatever doesn’t particularly flatter you. Shall we look for something else?” is an acceptable response in any relationship I’m willing to care much about preserving, all else being equal.
But, sure, one can easily imagine situations in which all else is not equal. (Which is to say, I don’t share the OP’s view.)
Tangentially: someone asked me roughly that question once, somewhat tongue-in-cheek. I replied, roughly, “Hypothetically speaking, given a choice, would you rather have evidence that a friend of yours was willing to answer questions honestly even when the honest answer incurred a potentially high social cost, or would you rather have evidence that your friend was willing to conceal an unpleasant truth so as to spare your feelings?” They thought about it for a bit and somewhat hesitantly chose the former, and I told them they looked lovely (which they did). That left them puzzled for quite a while.
The best answer I’ve heard to such questions is ‘I can’t tell; you’ll have to take it off so I can get a better look’.
If you truly respect the person asking you that, the only answer you can give is an honest one.
Your comment qualifies as a proof that I disrespect most people, including some of my loved ones. You could view it as a reductio ad absurdum of my opinion, or of your opinion; whichever you like better.
You’re presuming that the person in question wants to hear the truth. If they don’t, then the truly respectful response is not the same as the honest one.
And you’re presuming that if you respect someone you should just give them what they want...
I’m astonished that so many people advocating the spread rationality don’t strongly object to allowing people you presumably care about to continue their delusions.
Okay, let me correct my previous line: If they don’t, then the truly respectful response is not necessarily the same as the honest one. Of course there are situations where you should tell the truth, even if the other person doesn’t want to hear it right then. But there are also many situations where people are genuinely better off with their delusions, and breaking them would only do harm.
Advocating the spread of rationality does not give you a license to impose your own preferences on others regardless of how they feel about it. That includes the case where your preference is “people should only believe in true things”.
No it does not. But their asking me the question gives me a license to answer it honestly.