[Question] Wanting More Intellectual Stamina

As a sophomore undergraduate student, my most valuable rewards from the college experience have come from personal growth, rather than the classroom. However, one problem that I can’t seem to shake is dealing with all the subcategories of my total personality.

On the one hand, I am hyper intellectual, sometimes annoyingly so, because I have an overwhelming number of ideas—all under the vague category of “philosophy.” But this side of me has produced the purest, most profound joy that I have ever experienced, and it offers the most promise for a successful career.

On the other hand, I am a struggling Youtube addict, who enjoys hanging out with friends, good memes, and generally not doing work. This is more than low-conscientiousness, it is a fear of missing out on the shit-posty culture that I know and love.

The majority of my time goes towards the latter part of my personality, and my periods of intellectual productivity, or even just doing homework, are sporadic (I have a 3.66 GPA; it could be better/​I could be getting more out of my classes.) The problem is that I feel like I’m unable to let go of the fun-loving part of me which needs stupid entertainment. I simply cannot stay interested enough in learning and knowledge to be doing it 247, but I feel like this is requisite in order to be a successful thinker. How do you guys stay interested in something (an idea or even an entire field) persistently enough to always be motivated to work on it? Is it unrealistic to hope to always be motivated by your curiosity? Will I burn myself out if I devote my free-time to extracurricular reading?

Sorry for the autobiography, but I don’t know of a better forum to go to for these kinds of questions.

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