Sometimes the solution is just not to talk about certain topics. (But this requires cooperation from the other side.) For example, I don’t discuss politics with my mother, because that would be predictably frustrating for both sides.
Maybe there is a good boundary for you, for example don’t discuss your job? (Or stick to technicalities, such as salary.)
Oh, this wasn’t even a part of my mental model! (I wonder what other things am I missing that are so obvious for the local people that no one even mentions them explicitly.)
My first reaction is a shocked disbelief, how can there be such a thing as “unemployed… rationalist… living in Bay Area”, and even “houses full of them”...
This goes against my several assumptions such as “Bay Area is expensive”, “most rationalists are software developers”, “there is a shortage of software developers on the market”, “there is a ton of software companies in Bay Area”, and maybe even “rationalists are smart and help each other”.
Here (around the Vienna community) I think everyone is either a student or employed. And if someone has a bad job, the group can brainstorm how to help them. (We had one guy who was a nurse, everyone told him that he should learn to code, he attended a 6-month online bootcamp and then got a well-paying software development job.) I am literally right now asking our group on Telegram to confirm or disconfirm this.
Thank you; to put it bluntly, I am no longer surprised that some of the people who can’t hold a job would be deeply dysfunctional in other ways, too. The surprising part is that you consider them a part of the rationalist community. What did they do to deserve this honor? Memorized a few keywords? Impressed other people with skills unrelated to being able to keep a job? What the fuck is wrong with everyone? Is this a rationalist community or a psychotic homeless community or what?
...taking a few deep breaths...
I wonder which direction the causality goes. Is it “people who are stabilized in ways such as keeping a job, will remain sane” or rather “people who are sane, find it easier to get a job”. The second option feels more intuitive to me. But of course I can imagine it being a spiral.
Yes, but another option is to invite people whose way of life implies some common ground. Such as “the kind of people who could get a job if they wanted one”.