Also I’m a man and the message was very much that my sexual feelings are gross and dangerous and will probably hurt someone and result in me going to jail.
Previously in life, I’ve used a kind of slave-moral inversion by telling myself that I’m such a good ally by not making women afraid. This was a great cop-out to avoid facing my deeply-held insecurity. It’s also not true, women get way more enthusiastic when I express interest in them.
I’ve written a bit about this on my blog, here’s a post on consent, and a (slightly nsfw) post on my own sexual development
This is very related to Radical Honesty, part of the authentic relating movement. The basic idea is that by being extremely honest, you connect more with other people, let go of stress induced by keeping track of narratives, and start realizing the ways in which you’ve been bullshitting yourself.
When I started, I discovered a lot of ways in which I’d been restricting myself with semi-conscious narratives, particularly in social & sexual areas of life. Expressing the “ugh” allowed me to dissolve it more effectively.