Earnest first reaction, is that this sounds like an environment that it would be actively self-harmful to optimise yourself towards, and a cognitive hazard to feed into your unconscious self assessment.
Actually no, that’s not quite true. My first reaction, because it was a reaction to an earlier part of your post, was that there’s something incoherent about wanting to attract attention while also being embarrassed to post a link.
Sounds like a generalised sense of fear/anxiety about there being something not yet considered that implies the plan will go wrong. Which can’t be articulated as a specific weighed factor because they don’t know what it might be, because they lack the life experience to confidently enumerate all the things that can happen. Even with assurances from a competent adult, that uncertainty can be hard to push past.
Contrast that against the opposite mistake, of one who throws themself confidently into an uncontrolled situation, because they’ve already considered all three ways they can possibly imagine it going wrong, and developed a strategy that (they think) accounts for all of them. Who then gets utterly blindsided by “actually it’s more complicated than you thought”, or “actually there are more requirements than that”, or “turns out that thing you did was illegal”.