Link to my response elsewhere
https://www.datasecretslox.com/index.php/topic,16460.0.html
Isha Yiras Hashem
Karma: −12
I’ve posted a response elsewhere, if in the future you’d prefer I’d not link it please let me know. My usual policy is to inform people if I speak about them to someone else. I like social transparency.
https://www.datasecretslox.com/index.php/topic,16458.0.html
My response is posted on DSL, where you can’t delete anything you judge to be counterproductive.
https://www.datasecretslox.com/index.php/topic,16352.0.html
What is the source for the Scott Alexander comment you quoted?
I think your comment here epitomizes what I value about your posting. I’m not here to feel good about myself, I want to learn stuff correctly the first time. If I want to be coddled I can go to my therapist.
I also think that there’s a belief in personal agency that we share. No one is required to read or comment, and I view even negative comments as a valuable gift of the writer’s time and energy.
I wish I could write as sharply and itintelligently as you do. Most people waste too many words not saying anything with any redeeming factor except social signaling. (At least when I waste words i try to make it funny and interesting, which is not much better but intended as sort of an unspoken apology)
Completely omitted my post about Said, and my response to your responses on that post.
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/SQ8BrC5MJ9jo9n83i/said-achmiz-helps-me-learn , cross posted at Data secrets lox.
I’ll have to follow his comments elsewhere.
It’s the association you note, of empathy = good, that I object to. And anyway you’re just measuring social sensitivity, no one who wants to be well liked isn’t going to pretend they’re super empathetic.
And that’s the point. It turns int pretend when it becomes its own goal.
You might be surprised to find that I actually agree with this take. I think that most of what people consider empathy nowadays i a performative thing to make themselves feel good, or to drop responsibility. It doesn’t really do me much good if someone sits around feeling bad for me. I don’t want them to feel bad either. I have empathy for them.
I don’t want my kids to walk round feeling bad for people and thinking that that’s some sort of noble actions. I want e them to actually look at what they can do for other people. And how they can help a situation and how, you know, sometimes when you can’t help a situation, what’s the second best the third best thing you can do. And uh, sometimes you have to act against your empathy like, you know, someone is gonna be annoyed at you for doing something, but you still think it’s the right thing to do.
( It won’t allow me to edit on my phone. And the original comment was voiced to text. So I’m going to submit this and then edit it, hoping that the interface will improve somehow in the process)
I’ll attempt to explain the lines that are confusing you.
The anecdote was a self-deprecating parody of my tendency to wander off into personal anecdotes while posting. I was trying to contrast it with Said Achmiz’s focus on the object level problem, which is much more suited to less wrong.
I am referring to his responses to me on DSL.
Point is, while these things all sting, and I remember them, they are of equal importance.
This is self-explanatory.
I’m probably a very weird person, even if I do live a very standard stay-at-home-mother life. At least in rationalist circles, I seem to use up all my weirdness points just by being a stay-at-home mother, fearing G-d to the point of not spelling it out, and being a biblical literalist. And yet, I’m here.
The real problem is meta-awareness—thinking about yourself too much. If you’re focused on others instead of monitoring your own status, it matters less. I wouldn’t say I’m the most socially normal person—I lean more, um, socially experimental—but I do care about how other people feel. If someone is genuinely uncomfortable and I can adjust without triggering a motte-and-bailey about my own values, I will. But if there’s nothing I can reasonably do to change the situation, I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing.
As for food, I don’t pretend to be an exceptional cook. But if I have a guest who’s gluten-free or vegan, I’ll do my best to accommodate them. I also have chickens in my own yard, and I think they’re very well cared for. So at least for anyone concerned about animal rights, don’t worry, my chickens have a high quality of life.
So epistemic means: confidence of knowing?
https://www.datasecretslox.com/index.php/topic,16467.0.html
My take on your post is here, should you wish to read it, as I have a policy of telling people if I write about them.