We tried to buy a place around the corner (not right adjacent, but no crossing streets, so we could have let pretty small kids walk it alone), but we could only afford to lowball it and didn’t get it. We don’t want to move because moving is horrible but if the place burned down or something we would probably all or mostly all move together.
I would like to see this energy directed somewhere more empathetic. Can many humans with a healthy relationship to food and no medical dietary restrictions be physically healthy on a vegan diet (and a B12 supplement)? Probably. Does everyone you’re talking to have all those qualities? Absolutely not. Are their traditions, tastes, and convenience, and every flowthrough effect of their culture, enjoyment, and flexibility, wholly worthless? You aren’t likely to save many animals by telling them so even if you feel that way.
I had an accidentally mostly-vegan lunch today. I’m not a vegan (I’m a pescetarian), but I happened to choose today to make baba ganoush, and of course I wanted bread to put it on and I had some ciabatta, and I also had some Beyond sausages in the fridge that I wanted to try so I fried a couple of those up. By coincidence, my dinner last night was also vegan! I made Singapore noodles, with tofu and cabbage and broccoli and shiitake mushrooms. However, with both meals I drank a glass of milk. Trying to figure out how to completely replace dairy products in my diet would be a tremendous undertaking that would substantially reduce my quality of life, and if you want to make that ask, you should acknowledge its contents.
I know someone on an elimination diet for medical reasons who cannot have any legumes including soy and peanuts. (Nor eggs and dairy, but meat is fine—in fact, as I understand it, meat is one of the things people are least likely to be reactive to in a wide variety of cases.) He can eat gluten, but can’t have it in the house—it’ll make the celiac family members sick. What would you like him to do? Go out to eat a plate of seitan at a restaurant every day during a pandemic? Do you think the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics is stating that this person will be fine on quinoa and sunflower seeds and almonds, for months, while their medical team isolates a hopefully narrower set of problem foods, or do you think the AND were making a generalization that doesn’t apply to everyone?
Vat meat is coming. Plant-based meat options are better every year. They haven’t cracked fully general vegan eggs yet but they have approximately-perfect vegan mayonnaise. All we have to do is send market signals and, on the margin, in the meantime, give people recipes.
(Broil 2 large globe eggplants on high for one hour, turning them over after 30 minutes. Let rest until cool enough to handle. Slit open, scoop out, and strain the insides; pat dry with paper towels. Add minced garlic to taste and two tablespoons of lemon juice poured directly over the garlic, and stir vigorously until mostly broken down. Mix in 3 tablespoons tahini, then a steady stream of olive oil while stirring constantly. Salt until it tastes amazing.)
We did this approximately by accident. We had a kid, and separately had a habit of letting our friends crash in our spare bedrooms, and one of them did enough caretaking (letting us SLEEP!) that we were like “wait… if she leaves… that will hit the kid like a divorce” and arranged to keep her forever. Now we live with her and her fiancée and additional Spare Room Friends and a second kid, and we are very crowded in our large house and don’t have room for any more Spare Room Friends which is very sad, and plot to purchase neighboring houses as soon as they come on the market and knock down intervening fencing.
We really like this arrangement and so do the kids, and it’s been especially wonderful during lockdown since we can do well-attended in-bubble dinners and D&D and TV nights. It might be hard to do on purpose, especially if you want to do it before you actually have a kid for people to get attached to. Finding one compatible coparent who is committed to being in it for the duration of at least one childhood no matter what kind of kid you wind up with is already pretty hard. But we know a family who invited in a Spare Room Friend expressly on the expectation that the SRF would help take care of their child, which seems pretty doable, and if things didn’t work out they could presumably swap for a different SRF.
So I guess my advice is acquire at least one spare room and invite a friend who likes kids to live in it and see if they and your baby get along.
It’s not really workable to say “oh yeah, I can keep secrets, I keep so many secrets, like for example,” so I tend to describe my surface area—things like “sometimes my literate three year old looks at my screen and asks me what a phrase means in front of the contents of my living room, I’m not good at not laughing at things I read if they’re funny, I consider it morally wrong to lie and am not volunteering to do it anyway for you but am good at deflecting with the truth so cannot guarantee to conceal the existence of a secret but can decline to elaborate on it to inquisitors, if it seems to me like it legitimately concerns a third party I would try to ask you first but if it were time sensitive might make a judgment call and can take into account whatever you’d like to say now about that eventuality, given all this do you want to tell me?”
I’d like to do something like this—it turns out we go through flour with breathtaking speed if I’m trying to personally keep up with household bread consumption through baking. But I can’t find a distributor! I looked at the ones in my area listed on King Arthur Flour’s website, and one doesn’t have it (I think; they have no search function so I had to look manually through pages of random foods), and the other won’t let me check without my having a restaurant account.
I went from rarely flossing, to flossing every night, when I started trying to set an example for my eldest child. When my new baby was born, I neglected flossing for several weeks, since doing things with a new baby is hard. I promptly experienced unpleasant gum problems that I doubt are coincidental, and have put in more effort towards flossing on a daily basis.
Those both work.
No, I mean, it redirects me to https://www.lesswrong.com/allPosts with the weird stuff stripped out, and shows me all posts, not sorted by karma and including the one that was posted eight hours ago and so on.
The link to the 2018 posts sorted by karma is not working correctly for me; it redirects me to /allPosts for some reason.
We’ve got multiple parents for ours—we sort of fell into the arrangement (one moved in with us when kiddo the first was a few weeks old, it gradually became obvious that if she ever left he was going to take that like a divorce and we should be thinking about how to keep her around, eventually she added her primary partner in the manner of a stepparent). But only I am primary caretaker (everybody else has a job), so while I rely on the others for advice and discuss things with them, what’s sustainable and practical for me tends to trump—if I cannot be around some noise a toy makes, the toy does not get to have batteries, etc. We agree on the broad strokes of what considerations are important in general, and implementation details are just a thing the kids will learn vary between people—for example, there are a lot of things my son is only allowed to do if he can locate someone who is willing to supervise the activity and be responsible for any cleanup (today this was “eat shredded cheese”, which usually winds up all over the floor, but a roommate who isn’t even one of the parent collective was up for helping him with that this time).
I don’t think “mediocrity” is the right word to apply to parenting that leaves you some slack and doesn’t involve crazily striving for violin virtuosity in your children. There are lots of axes on which parents can vary. Being, say, really consistent with Faber&Mazlish style parenting skills even when you are sleep deprived, would be amazing parenting, and that’s probably still worth getting better at for almost every parent on the margin, while leaving room for slack and not-being-insane-about-the-violin.
Are you aware that people’s votes are worth different amounts? I do not think there’s a way to vote less than one’s default vote amount.
I have a kiddo whose “why phase” is in full swing and I am not actually confident that it’s motivated by curiosity. It’s also not the most efficient way to learn things, or even the most efficient simple way (that’d probably be something like “tell me stuff about $TOPIC”), nor is it obviously geared at that goal.
In particular, my kid (I don’t know how common this is) will typically formulate his questions by re-grammatizing whatever statement was most recently made in his vicinity (“it’s a nice day” “why is it a nice day?” “because it’s a good temperature” “why is it a good temperature?”). This will sure keep the conversation going, but:
He doesn’t retain the information well, sometimes asking the exact same question more than once in a period of just a few minutes, even when the answer isn’t complicated compared to things he understands easily.
He doesn’t seem to care what kind of answer he gets—he will proceed almost identically if the answer to the temperature question above has to do with it having been a similar temperature yesterday, or about the season, or about cloud cover, or if the answer is “I don’t know” (he’ll ask “why do you don’t know”).
He hasn’t noticed any common patterns that end the line of questioning (if he ever asks why he did something, he gets, “I don’t know, why did you do that?”, but hasn’t given up on such questions).
Because of how he generates new questions, he can be led around concept-space in whatever way is most convenient for his interlocutor. He doesn’t circle back to stuff he’s been interested in before except when he’s repeating questions he forgot and settling for the same answers as last time verbatim. There isn’t a sense, talking to him, that he’s aware of the existence of a concept out there he really wants to grasp.
This isn’t to say that he isn’t curious, but I don’t think the “why phase” is strongly related. When he’s really interested in learning about something he wants to go interact with it. He also has other language abilities that he seems to use when what he wants really is information, like “I want to talk about it” and non-why-questions. Why questions seem to be just a button-mash for “make the adults talk to me”.
When I did jujitsu we learned to fall. The important things are to tuck in your head, and to strike the ground—like, slap it as hard as you can with your hands—before your landing to reduce the force with which you hit.
A few years ago, I received a hand-addressed package with my correct name and address on it; the return address was a completely unfamiliar name in a state I’ve never visited and have no friends in. The contents were three Asterix books in the original French which I had no use for, did not know of anyone who wanted, and could not in fact read.
N sevraq unq hfrq obbx-fjnccvat jrofvgr Obbxzbbpu gb trg zr fbzr cerfragf n juvyr cerivbhfyl naq unqa’g erzrzorerq gb hcqngr gur nqqerff jura trggvat gurfr sbe ure uhfonaq.