I have never worked for anything in my life. I’m a nihilistic person and I don’t see the point or meaning in everything. Ultimately it won’t matter. You will die and some long in to the future, the universe will die. There will be no life.
I met this girl. She has given meaning to my life and all life on Earth. If she would disappear, everything will become meaningless. And I want my life to have meaning. It’s nice. So I have decided to become something of myself, to deserve the company of a such a wonderful person.
I want to improve myself. Since this is new, that I have the wish to change my self in a positive direction. So I don’t have any experience. I was wondering where should I begin. I have a goal of improving myself in these areas: intellectual, mentally and physically.
My question is, where do I begin and what is the best way to completely focus on this goal of improving myself. Should I create a schedule? How do I improve my self intellectually? Read more books, be in the company of smarter people than yourself? I literally haven’t good a single idea on how to reach this immense goal of creating a new version of myself, that is stronger intellectually, mentally and physically. I know what I have to do, but how do I stay disciplined for a journey that will take years, maybe decades(you probably think I’m insane for spending my time for one person. But I think she’s worth all the time in the world) to achieve, where you will not have any positive feedback for a long time, no support from anyone and lastly the option that I might fail.