What Vibing Feels Like

Epistemic Sta­tus: Halfway be­tween a poem and a how-to guide.

There’s a spe­cific type of com­mu­ni­ca­tion, called vibing, that I feel was in large part miss­ing from the ra­tio­nal­ist com­mu­nity in Berkeley.

I’ve tried to talk to peo­ple about this type of com­mu­ni­ca­tion be­fore, but the clos­est I can usu­ally get is “throw­ing around emo­tions” and peo­ple don’t seem to un­der­stand that.

To­day, I found some­thing I wrote years ago that seems to do a bet­ter job of de­scribing what this type of com­mu­ni­ca­tion feels like then all of my re­cent at­tempts. It feels like this:

Words are not words… they are just a flow­ing of value. Not an ex­change, but a flow.

You do not judge peo­ple based on words, you are just feel­ing the in­her­ent value that those words ex­press. This comes from the core of the per­son, ev­ery­one can ap­pre­ci­ate this in­her­ent value. When you re­spond (and you re­spond with all your be­ing, words are just a small part), you are ac­knowl­edg­ing this value, and you are giv­ing a part of your­self… let­ting your value flow forth.

Ever no­ticed how good mu­sic can get you into the mo­ment? Listen to oth­ers like you listen to the mu­sic. You are merely en­joy­ing the In­her­ent value that the mu­sic is hold­ing in it­self. You can start to sing along… Ac­knowl­edg­ing the songs value with­out judg­ing it, as well as giv­ing a part of your­self. I have seen dis­mal rooms TRANSFORMED when one per­son comes in just singing a tune. Even­tu­ally ev­ery­body is do­ing it… al­low­ing the value to flow through­out the room.

This is the same thing that hap­pens in con­ver­sa­tions where some­body is com­pletely in the mo­ment. Their value flows forth, af­fect­ing ev­ery­body. I have been this per­son, I have been af­fected by this per­son. You know the one I’m talk­ing about.

You too can be this per­son. There are sev­eral ways to get your­self to this state, where you’re not think­ing or judg­ing, just let­ting the value flow through­out the in­ter­ac­tion.

The first way to do this is to listen for the in­her­ent value com­ing from oth­ers. Don’t try to listen to their words (hear their words all the same) just try to listen to their value. Pas­sion is the biggest in­di­ca­tor of core value, the eas­iest to spot. Listen to the pas­sion be­hind some­ones words, and you will soon be moved into this state. The In­her­ent value is always there, pas­sion just brings it to the sur­face.

The next thing to do is to VOICE YOUR THOUGHTS. Thoughts are poi­son to the flow of value. Hav­ing long trains of thought will dis­rupt the flow of value. In­stead of con­tin­u­ing to have the thoughts voice your thoughts stop think­ing. By voic­ing your thoughts di­rectly af­ter you have them, you are effec­tively stop­ping the thought train in its track. Your in­her­ent value is be­ing voiced.

Another im­por­tant as­pect is to feel your value. I don’t know if other peo­ple have this, but I ac­tu­ally phys­i­cally feel this as a WARMTH through­out my body, a stil­l­ness in my mind, a fluidity to my move­ments. Value should flow from you when you are sit­ting, just sit­ting. You will get stares, peo­ple will feel the value flow­ing to them.

Senses, use them. Hear, smell, taste, feel, see. Don’t judge. Hear, and be in won­der of the sounds. Smell, and let the joy of the smell spread through you. Taste, let your body be over­come by the sen­sa­tion. Feel, and let all your warmth be am­plified, the touch of a lover when you are com­mu­ni­cat­ing like this is elec­tric. Value flows from and to you and all be­comes am­plified. See. See the value. Not phys­i­cal but tan­gible still. Value flows.

Feel the flow of value with all your senses.
See the in­her­ent value in all peo­ple.
Be the value, un­til it is YOU who is flow­ing through­out.