In fact, I’m less likely to do it than if my friend weren’t trying to pressure me to do it.
Interesting! Why? I mean, the friend probably has your best interest in mind, “you’ll be glad you jumped”. And empirically, when I take the jump in situations like this, I feel happy with myself afterward. Isn’t it the same for you?
(Also, to me it’s not as much about what other people will think of me. It’s more about me actually having certain qualities, doing certain things, or not.)
I mean, the friend probably has your best interest in mind, “you’l be glad you jumped”
My experience is that people feel like they’re saying it for your own good, but it’s not like they’re carefully running simulations of everything they know about you and coming to a rigorous conclusion. They’re running primarily on script-following, projection, and heuristics, and even if they weren’t, you have more information about yourself in that moment than they do.
Interesting! Why? I mean, the friend probably has your best interest in mind, “you’ll be glad you jumped”. And empirically, when I take the jump in situations like this, I feel happy with myself afterward. Isn’t it the same for you?
(Also, to me it’s not as much about what other people will think of me. It’s more about me actually having certain qualities, doing certain things, or not.)
My experience is that people feel like they’re saying it for your own good, but it’s not like they’re carefully running simulations of everything they know about you and coming to a rigorous conclusion. They’re running primarily on script-following, projection, and heuristics, and even if they weren’t, you have more information about yourself in that moment than they do.
Nope.
Yep, absolutely they do, but that doesn’t change anything.
It sets a bad precedent and encourages annoying and bad behavior. Far better to be known as the person who can’t be pressured into things.