What parts of https://attachmentrepair.com/ did you get value out of in particular?
Any other specific methods of internal work that you recommend for this kind of self-work?
(This whole area is my main special interest for hobby study, though I still have a long ways to go in my own personal progress, so I will eagerly look into any number of resources that come recommended from people who got real value out of them)
This makes me think of IFS, and how the symbolic unburdening ritual the standard IFS procedure includes only really does anything if you’ve managed to coordinate with your Protectors well enough for them not want to jump in the way / disrupt it, and if you’ve connected with and empathized with the Exile strongly enough for the symbolism to resonate for the exile, and for the exile themself to feel ready for and want the changes an unburdening would entail.
Without all those pieces in place, it does end up falling flat and doing approximately nothing except maybe feeling nice for a brief period — because in essence you’re just doing some thing over here on the side in a way that isn’t actually interacting meaningfully with the parts it’s supposedly meant to heal.
Getting all of these pieces in place is actually quite hard and takes a lot of extended inner relationship-building and development of understanding, as far as I can tell. I’m still working on it myself, and have only had little bits and pieces of successful unburdening type results so far.