I absolutely need to say this first: the reason I started reading this post was because I thought it had something to do with Steins;Gate. Can I really be blamed when the words “microwave” and “alternate reality” are in the same title? But I’m not disappointed, honestly.
The velcro comparison is the thing I keep turning over. Because you’re right that the early-adopter effect killed the microwave’s status, but I think there’s something even more brutal going on underneath it: the technology actually requires a Marie T. Smith to work. Like, it needs a true believer who spent a decade calibrating timing slots per individual potato to get good results. The gas stove is almost infinitely forgiving by comparison. You can throw an oddly shaped piece of chicken at it while half-watching television and get something edible. The microwave, at least the version in this book, demands you weigh things in ounces and preheat empty skillets and basically treat dinner like a chemistry practical. That’s a lot to ask of something marketed as a convenience device.
So maybe the microwave didn’t lose on vibes so much as it lost because the person who figured out how to make it actually work couldn’t figure out how to make it work for the average, lazy human.
Also the poached egg explosion is clearly the best part of this post. Writing “LESS” in the blank and moving on is the only correct response and I respect it deeply.
Fair point, and I’ll give you that conventional cooking has more hidden complexity than it looks. But I think the type of precision matters more than the amount.
A stove keeps you in the loop the whole time. You hover, you adjust, you smell something going wrong and you act. My friend has this line about how there’s a difference between making things happen and things happening to you, and honestly that’s the whole stove vs microwave debate right there. With a microwave you’re basically delegating to a sealed box and finding out the results afterward. By the time you have feedback, you’re already past fixing it.
Thirty extra seconds and your poached egg is shrapnel. That’s not a complexity you can feel your way through. It’s a complexity you just lose to.