Cheese Mann

Karma: 23

Cheese Mann 20 Jan 2026 2:29 UTC
1 point
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in reply to: Cheese Mann’s comment on: Dating Roundup #10: Gendered Expectations
IMO the best way for anyone to date is try to relax any constraints as much as you feel comfortable with as much as you can, but not further (education, age, income), and then date for overall chemistry & attractiveness within those constraints.
It’s already so hard to find someone who is physically attractive (and finds you attractive), and who you will be able to live with for 50+ years and enjoy living with, why make it harder for yourself by maximizing every single requirement

Cheese Mann 20 Jan 2026 2:27 UTC
5 points
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on: Dating Roundup #10: Gendered Expectations
The ambition / salary thing is BS, it’s really simple
There’s a hidden thing the women making a lot of money don’t say which is that they largely will exclusively date men who earn >= them
The more honest ones will say this explicitly to their friends. The less honest ones will still feel out the man and try to guess.
That’s all it is, that + a bit of age
Like as a guy when I was making top 1% income I was ~30 y/o
The % of women I could date was at an all time high, 99% of women wouldn’t rule me out over income, and the widest % of the dating market wouldn’t rule me out over age
It was so bizarre to me, the typical 30 y/o guy earning 99% income has a dating pool of up to 99% of the age range of women he would want to date, while the typical 30 y/o woman earning the same has a dating pool of like 0.25% of men she would want to date
And then of course because they are earning top 1% they also want him to be tall, have hair, etc. etc.
In practice it’s closer to like 0.001% or something absurdly small
It’s no skin off my back but it was just weird seeing women who clearly understood numbers very well failing to grasp this impossible scenario they had setup for themselves
I think it’s just that men think about dating in a fundamentally different way due to starting from more of a point of scarcity and then moving to abundance, and women start from a place of abundance and don’t realize what’s happening until it’s happened

Cheese Mann 11 Nov 2025 19:09 UTC
4 points
1
on: Against “You can just do things”
I think it’s still a powerful tool for the many of us with some mix of OCD / Autism / whatever is in the water these days

I realized very slowly and with much pain that I am someone who massively overthinks everything I do

I am someone who very much should “just do things” like 3x more than I would naturally feel drawn to do

Doing so has brought me much success and almost everything good in life

Certainly it can be taken too far, but my impression was that the phrase was to a great extent directed at a certain person / TPOT / rationalist type who are insane overthinkers

Cheese Mann 19 Oct 2025 21:09 UTC
2 points
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on: The Three Levels of Agency
Taking online dating seriously, rather than passively swiping or hoping I randomly bump into “the one”. I reasoned from first principles that having a good partner is very valuable, and that online dating was a numbers game. So I borrowed my friend’s DSLR camera, took good outdoor pictures, and used this website that lets strangers vote on which of your pictures is the best so I didn’t have to rely on my own judgment for that. I researched Tinder bios and put effort into my bio. I swiped like crazy on two dating apps. I paid for premium. If you’re online dating but not paying for premium, I invite you to do some napkin math on the estimated value of a good partner. I predict you’ll realize premium is under-priced compared to the value you receive by several orders of magnitude, and then you’ll pay for it. All this led to me going on several dates a week until I found my current girlfriend, who I have been with for years and am very happy with.
A lot of guys who use OLD to date need to hear this. I gradually realized this towards the end of my dating life.

I didn’t go quite that far (as I met my partner irl) but I probably would have and realized I should, it’s the meta
Strong agree that it’s not that much money if you’re taking it seriously

Cheese Mann 24 Jan 2025 20:25 UTC
2 points
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on: Tail SP 500 Call Options
I agree with this and think it’s interesting (I actually already have a nice block of SPY leaps)
That said, I have far more conviction in NVDA and similar assets, so I think my total profit from either strategy would work out to be about the same
Like NVDA could 10x, this could 50x, but I’m gonna put 5x as much in NVDA

Cheese Mann 31 Dec 2024 5:24 UTC
−1 points
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on: If all trade is voluntary, then what is “exploitation?”
Trade is not voluntary, nothing is voluntary, we do everything without a choice

Cheese Mann 16 Dec 2024 0:26 UTC
1 point
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on: Would You Work Harder In The Least Convenient Possible World?
I like this post a lot.

Personally I am an even less altruistic Bob, who is still slightly altruistic. I would guess that 1% or less of my effort and resources go to altruistic causes.

But I accept most of the logical arguments and most of the facts / conclusions.

The very reason I don’t step up to at least become Bob is because of the Alices of the world.

If I identify with the good (pure?) too much, the good people then have in-group status which they can use as a tool to extract more value from me.

I think it’s one of those things you can’t logic people into doing, because there’s always “well at the end of the day I’m going to die in 50 years, I am ultimately a meaningless monkey on a dirt rock, why not just get high, have fun and ignore all this dumb shit”

The idea of using goodness (really ideological purity) as leverage feels inherently wrong to me.

Maybe that’s just a convenient though-terminating cliche. But maybe I don’t really care, and that’s the whole point.

Cheese Mann 14 Dec 2024 8:52 UTC
2 points
2
on: Effective Networking as Sending Hard to Fake Signals
I agree with all of this and it underscores why I loathe networking

Trying to hit the balance of not being overly transactional and signaling the right way but also trying to make sure that my signaling itself isn’t perceived as conscious (which it is) is agonizing for me

Cheese Mann 9 Dec 2024 4:49 UTC
2 points
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on: How to avoid death by AI.
I strongly believe that at least half of the population would never believe it is an unbiased source of information no matter what you do, and would find the centralization very suspicious

Cheese Mann 21 Nov 2024 22:36 UTC
15 points
1
on: Which things were you surprised to learn are not metaphors?
This feels closely related to Alexithymia or emotion blindness

Extremely common in: people with ADHD / Autism (potentially over half)

Fairly common in: people who have PTSD, people with substance abuse issues (possibly causal, alexithymia → drugs to feel something), and men (male-normative alexithymia)

People with alexithymia often identify their emotions primarily through physical sensations

For me (a male with autism, ADHD and PTSD) I can tell I’m feeling scared or anxious if my legs get cold (I believe this is a common form)