Framing: I’d typically try to make my intentions fairly clear, rather than try to be sneaky about it. Eg beginning with something like “how would you feel about doing the infra project instead of the research project?” (which may surface useful info immediately!) followed by “Hmm, I’m not super convinced the research project is the highest priority thing to do next—want to think through this?”
On the receiving side of this, I would at once conclude that the other party wants me to do the infra project instead of the research project, and wants to avoid saying so at this point. I will be on yellow alert for manipulative tricks aiming at getting me to do what he wants while being gulled into thinking it was my own decision. Is that how you expect these words to be taken?
Huh, I’d have thought those questions make it clear that I currently think they should do the infra project rather than the research project (at least, within the social norms I’m used to), I’m hardly avoiding saying it, just being polite while making my beliefs clear.
Re the general question of trust and fear of manipulation, I think it depends a lot on the context and my relationship with the person? That attitude makes sense in a low trust environment when interacting with people with misaligned incentives, but I think I’m pretty aligned incentive wise with the people I manage or mentor and they know I’m not out to get them. We’re all here to do impactful research. If there’s a context without mutual trust, I obviously expect this to work less well.
I also think I can establish some trust by actually engaging with objections, and updating on novel ones and that I agree with
On the receiving side of this, I would at once conclude that the other party wants me to do the infra project instead of the research project, and wants to avoid saying so at this point. I will be on yellow alert for manipulative tricks aiming at getting me to do what he wants while being gulled into thinking it was my own decision. Is that how you expect these words to be taken?
Huh, I’d have thought those questions make it clear that I currently think they should do the infra project rather than the research project (at least, within the social norms I’m used to), I’m hardly avoiding saying it, just being polite while making my beliefs clear.
Re the general question of trust and fear of manipulation, I think it depends a lot on the context and my relationship with the person? That attitude makes sense in a low trust environment when interacting with people with misaligned incentives, but I think I’m pretty aligned incentive wise with the people I manage or mentor and they know I’m not out to get them. We’re all here to do impactful research. If there’s a context without mutual trust, I obviously expect this to work less well.
I also think I can establish some trust by actually engaging with objections, and updating on novel ones and that I agree with