For a while I had almost the reverse direction—if people didn’t have a sense of their deepest values or a strong sense of identity, I had trouble trusting them because they could be anyone or take on any value at any moment, I didn’t know if the “them” I told the secret to would be the same “them” that had a chance to tell the secret to someone else.
Since then I’ve realized there’s multiple levels of consistency and meta-consistency both above and below identity, and just look for some level of consistency to see in what ways I can trust a person.
For a while I had almost the reverse direction—if people didn’t have a sense of their deepest values or a strong sense of identity, I had trouble trusting them because they could be anyone or take on any value at any moment, I didn’t know if the “them” I told the secret to would be the same “them” that had a chance to tell the secret to someone else.
Since then I’ve realized there’s multiple levels of consistency and meta-consistency both above and below identity, and just look for some level of consistency to see in what ways I can trust a person.