It’s a creative idea and would be an interesting experiment. That being said, I can’t help but wonder why the focus is on sharing such heavy opinions. I’ll be honest in that it’s not been a major challenge for me in my life to not avoid talking about things that could likely spell discomfort. It’s not even been intentional, because to me, it’s a party and I want to be talking about things that are fun for myself and for others.
If you are deliberately getting into heavy discussions about a potential socially dangerous topic, I’d ask why you feel the need to talk about it in that setting anyway. Is a party really the place where the requirements for good outcomes to the discussion are going to be present? Sure, mention something in passing but leave the actual discussion for other settings/atmospheres.
I’m not going to tell you how to party though—I just think it’s odd that when others are coming together to have a good time, voicing heavy opinions and fielding heavy discussions are where these attendees minds go to.
Many people have no context in their life where they can get feedback on socially undesirable ideas from thoughtful people so that they can potentially update them. E.g. you hear socially undesirable thing online that you suspect has some truth to it, you can’t have any reasonable discussion about which aspects might be true, which might be false, and even amongst the more true parts how to navigate having that belief or what would be a wholesome framework to use to work with it, bc no feedback.
I’ll give an egregious example. At one time, iodizing salt in developing countries was opposed by some NGOs on the grounds that the argument that it raised IQ was some sort of fake racist thing. A person in that environment might have wanted to be able to discuss things in a safer space than whatever environment produced that insanity.
The example here is that I’m working for an NGO that opposes iodizing salt in developing countries because it is racist, for reasons. I’ve been reading online that it raises IQ and that raising IQ is good, actually. I want to discuss this in a safe space.
I can do this by having any friends or family who don’t work for the NGO. This seems more likely to work than attending a cancellation party at the NGO. If the NGO prevents me from having outside friends or talking to family then it’s dangerous and I should get out regardless of its opinion on iodization.
There are better examples, I could offer suggestions if you like, probably you can also think of many.
What makes a discussion heavy? What requires that a conversation be conducted in a way that makes it heavy?
I feel like for a lot of people it just never has to be, but I’m pretty sure most people have triggers even if they’re not aware of it and it would help if we knew what sets this off so that we can root them out.
Fair question—I guess that a certain discussion doesn’t necessarily have to be “heavy” but I believe that humans are far less skilled at communication, especially in social settings, for the majority of these interactions to not flare up some level of insecurity, human bias, or offend someone’s held beliefs.
I personally would say that I’m quite good at navigating a social context while also being able to broach traditionally taboo’d topics, but I do not think this I represent the norm. The general heuristic of avoiding potentially controversial topics has served me well in most social settings like this, where I believe the purpose is for social connection on a lighter, surface level.
As I replied to a previous comment, I think I’d append my original comment that if OP was advocating for banning normal parties in favor of this format, I’d be against that. I suppose the idea I’m trying to communicate is that it’s important to know your setting and the social context before engaging in these types of behaviors, and that this habit will serve you far better in facilitating social connection.
It’s a creative idea and would be an interesting experiment. That being said, I can’t help but wonder why the focus is on sharing such heavy opinions. I’ll be honest in that it’s not been a major challenge for me in my life to not avoid talking about things that could likely spell discomfort. It’s not even been intentional, because to me, it’s a party and I want to be talking about things that are fun for myself and for others.
If you are deliberately getting into heavy discussions about a potential socially dangerous topic, I’d ask why you feel the need to talk about it in that setting anyway. Is a party really the place where the requirements for good outcomes to the discussion are going to be present? Sure, mention something in passing but leave the actual discussion for other settings/atmospheres.
I’m not going to tell you how to party though—I just think it’s odd that when others are coming together to have a good time, voicing heavy opinions and fielding heavy discussions are where these attendees minds go to.
Many people have no context in their life where they can get feedback on socially undesirable ideas from thoughtful people so that they can potentially update them. E.g. you hear socially undesirable thing online that you suspect has some truth to it, you can’t have any reasonable discussion about which aspects might be true, which might be false, and even amongst the more true parts how to navigate having that belief or what would be a wholesome framework to use to work with it, bc no feedback.
I’ll give an egregious example. At one time, iodizing salt in developing countries was opposed by some NGOs on the grounds that the argument that it raised IQ was some sort of fake racist thing. A person in that environment might have wanted to be able to discuss things in a safer space than whatever environment produced that insanity.
The example here is that I’m working for an NGO that opposes iodizing salt in developing countries because it is racist, for reasons. I’ve been reading online that it raises IQ and that raising IQ is good, actually. I want to discuss this in a safe space.
I can do this by having any friends or family who don’t work for the NGO. This seems more likely to work than attending a cancellation party at the NGO. If the NGO prevents me from having outside friends or talking to family then it’s dangerous and I should get out regardless of its opinion on iodization.
There are better examples, I could offer suggestions if you like, probably you can also think of many.
If OP were advocating banning normal parties, in favor of only having cancellable parties, I would agree with this comment.
Fair point. I think I agree with this distinction!
What makes a discussion heavy? What requires that a conversation be conducted in a way that makes it heavy?
I feel like for a lot of people it just never has to be, but I’m pretty sure most people have triggers even if they’re not aware of it and it would help if we knew what sets this off so that we can root them out.
Fair question—I guess that a certain discussion doesn’t necessarily have to be “heavy” but I believe that humans are far less skilled at communication, especially in social settings, for the majority of these interactions to not flare up some level of insecurity, human bias, or offend someone’s held beliefs.
I personally would say that I’m quite good at navigating a social context while also being able to broach traditionally taboo’d topics, but I do not think this I represent the norm. The general heuristic of avoiding potentially controversial topics has served me well in most social settings like this, where I believe the purpose is for social connection on a lighter, surface level.
As I replied to a previous comment, I think I’d append my original comment that if OP was advocating for banning normal parties in favor of this format, I’d be against that. I suppose the idea I’m trying to communicate is that it’s important to know your setting and the social context before engaging in these types of behaviors, and that this habit will serve you far better in facilitating social connection.