>I am bad at most forms of normie social interaction and I have no clue how to break into a conversation anywhere else.
I feel like this too. But I get sick of intellectualism sometimes, so I enjoy playing free poker at a dive bar. It’s structured, it’s not awkward to be at the table without talking, and table talk at this particular dive comes easy and I don’t have to think about how to break into conversation. Most attendees are regulars and familiarity breeds friendliness. (Of course many regulars have their own little beefs with each other, but I… well I’ve developed one beef but that’s ok, we just ignore each other).
Actually I’m so bad at breaking into conversation that I usually bring a book or walk around outside in the 20 minutes between arriving and the start of the nightly tournament!
I’m not saying “go find a free dive bar poker tournament”, but yeah, something with some structure seems good. Sitting around at a football bar hoping someone talks to you is an ok way to pass the time but not overly promising socially.
I was trying to write a line here about how poker tournament social structure is different than philosophy meetup social structure but actually the primary difference is class. None of these people have ever considered attending a philosophy meetup. Most have never visited meetup.com or would know what it was. A recent memory: the type of guy who uses the term “chinese” to mean “asian”—no offense intended, no point to be made, simply “chinese”—fits in well at this bar.
You’ve tried the middle class; your investigation isn’t complete until you’ve hung out with the lower class. (Surely that will turn things around).
The question to solve is: where can you do this in your area that doesn’t require you to sit alone and wait to be roped into a conversation, nor requires you to do some kind of distasteful “cold approach” to try and insert yourself into a group? The goal is 1) structured 2) low class.
>I am bad at most forms of normie social interaction and I have no clue how to break into a conversation anywhere else.
I feel like this too. But I get sick of intellectualism sometimes, so I enjoy playing free poker at a dive bar. It’s structured, it’s not awkward to be at the table without talking, and table talk at this particular dive comes easy and I don’t have to think about how to break into conversation. Most attendees are regulars and familiarity breeds friendliness. (Of course many regulars have their own little beefs with each other, but I… well I’ve developed one beef but that’s ok, we just ignore each other).
Actually I’m so bad at breaking into conversation that I usually bring a book or walk around outside in the 20 minutes between arriving and the start of the nightly tournament!
I’m not saying “go find a free dive bar poker tournament”, but yeah, something with some structure seems good. Sitting around at a football bar hoping someone talks to you is an ok way to pass the time but not overly promising socially.
I was trying to write a line here about how poker tournament social structure is different than philosophy meetup social structure but actually the primary difference is class. None of these people have ever considered attending a philosophy meetup. Most have never visited meetup.com or would know what it was. A recent memory: the type of guy who uses the term “chinese” to mean “asian”—no offense intended, no point to be made, simply “chinese”—fits in well at this bar.
You’ve tried the middle class; your investigation isn’t complete until you’ve hung out with the lower class. (Surely that will turn things around).
The question to solve is: where can you do this in your area that doesn’t require you to sit alone and wait to be roped into a conversation, nor requires you to do some kind of distasteful “cold approach” to try and insert yourself into a group? The goal is 1) structured 2) low class.