12 years and counting (from well before I was involved in raionality)
how you feel about the relationship: in what ways was/is it successful or unsuccessful?
Successful. Any problems are more of the type “2 different people trying to cooperate but with different wants/needs” than anything specific to rationality (i.e. I don’t think these things would go much better if she was a rationalist)
Possibly such issues might come up less often but I’m not convinced this would be the case.
if your partner doesn’t have a “rationalist frame”, how you deal with that
Basically we just understand and respect each other’s frame even if we each think our own is better.
I’ve deliberately told her about lots of rationality things—base rates may be the most commonly referred to one, plus putting probabilities on things
We are each interested in each other’s interests because the other person is interested (or at least we try to be!). She will listen to my rants even though she personally has absolutely no interest in the specific area.
Also, agreeing with Dustin “I’m very easy going, and it’s not of the utmost importance to me that my life partner is interested in the same things as I.”
any other random thoughts this elicits
Being interested in rationality-type things seems (for me) slightly off as a thing to optimise for. I would more target general intellectual curiosity, open-mindedness, respect. Being into rationality type things is probably a good indicator of this but isn’t the thing itself.
how long these relationships lasted
12 years and counting (from well before I was involved in raionality)
how you feel about the relationship: in what ways was/is it successful or unsuccessful?
Successful. Any problems are more of the type “2 different people trying to cooperate but with different wants/needs” than anything specific to rationality (i.e. I don’t think these things would go much better if she was a rationalist)
Possibly such issues might come up less often but I’m not convinced this would be the case.
if your partner doesn’t have a “rationalist frame”, how you deal with that
Basically we just understand and respect each other’s frame even if we each think our own is better.
I’ve deliberately told her about lots of rationality things—base rates may be the most commonly referred to one, plus putting probabilities on things
We are each interested in each other’s interests because the other person is interested (or at least we try to be!). She will listen to my rants even though she personally has absolutely no interest in the specific area.
Also, agreeing with Dustin “I’m very easy going, and it’s not of the utmost importance to me that my life partner is interested in the same things as I.”
any other random thoughts this elicits
Being interested in rationality-type things seems (for me) slightly off as a thing to optimise for. I would more target general intellectual curiosity, open-mindedness, respect. Being into rationality type things is probably a good indicator of this but isn’t the thing itself.