How is it getting easier to be loved by others if you’re female attracted?
A very male-cultured kinda autistic person might see the love that a cis woman would have for a man as invalid. I wouldn’t love me, I am wretched, so she shouldn’t love me, because to love me would be to love and sustain what is wretched. I cannot stomach her love.
There could be two things going on in that case:
Misandry. Some kids can’t imagine men deserving of love. Every man they’ve known has seemed vicious or in some way deeply (truly) ugly. (I imagine many straight cis women would be both sympathetic to and transcended of this view that they’d basically be able to write a cure for it if society were asking for one. Society wasn’t asking for works that redeem men 2 years ago, but I think it is very much asking for such works today.)
And I wonder if there might be a real conflict in values between the sexes. I think this probably isn’t true in general, cultural background seems to determine aesthetics and there is no discernible sex-linked limit to access to aesthetic sense. But due to personalised media, there is some (arguably tragic) divergence of aesthetic background anyway, so it may still be the case that for everyone to be happy we would have to accept some fairly painful disagreement about aesthetics within the average relationship. There is a cure for this pain, but it is love, and sometimes a robust enough love takes work to build, and a person can’t imagine it before it’s been built.
I don’t know if anyone transitions for this reason, but people are sometimes more willing to foregive certain “flaws” in one gender than another. For example, it seems to me that a lack of career ambition is more socially acceptable in a woman than in a man—a man who wants to be a househusband rather than a breadwinner has to confront negative stereotypes that a woman that wants to be a housewife does not. And men are often able to be more direct and aggressive without suffering social repercussions.
As for myself, I think that, holding as much else constant as possible, I might have been a little bit happier having been born female, but I think not being short might have helped even more—in addition to having been a short kid, my adult height ended up being about six inches below the median, which is also the kind of thing that’s worse if you’re male...
A very male-cultured kinda autistic person might see the love that a cis woman would have for a man as invalid. I wouldn’t love me, I am wretched, so she shouldn’t love me, because to love me would be to love and sustain what is wretched. I cannot stomach her love.
There could be two things going on in that case:
Misandry. Some kids can’t imagine men deserving of love. Every man they’ve known has seemed vicious or in some way deeply (truly) ugly. (I imagine many straight cis women would be both sympathetic to and transcended of this view that they’d basically be able to write a cure for it if society were asking for one. Society wasn’t asking for works that redeem men 2 years ago, but I think it is very much asking for such works today.)
And I wonder if there might be a real conflict in values between the sexes. I think this probably isn’t true in general, cultural background seems to determine aesthetics and there is no discernible sex-linked limit to access to aesthetic sense. But due to personalised media, there is some (arguably tragic) divergence of aesthetic background anyway, so it may still be the case that for everyone to be happy we would have to accept some fairly painful disagreement about aesthetics within the average relationship. There is a cure for this pain, but it is love, and sometimes a robust enough love takes work to build, and a person can’t imagine it before it’s been built.
I don’t know if anyone transitions for this reason, but people are sometimes more willing to foregive certain “flaws” in one gender than another. For example, it seems to me that a lack of career ambition is more socially acceptable in a woman than in a man—a man who wants to be a househusband rather than a breadwinner has to confront negative stereotypes that a woman that wants to be a housewife does not. And men are often able to be more direct and aggressive without suffering social repercussions.
As for myself, I think that, holding as much else constant as possible, I might have been a little bit happier having been born female, but I think not being short might have helped even more—in addition to having been a short kid, my adult height ended up being about six inches below the median, which is also the kind of thing that’s worse if you’re male...