I definitely took the original post to be describing a terminal value rather than manifestation of something deeper, if you meant instrumental that handles a lot of my objections.
But while I’m here, another data point: I’ve heard multiple young women say they won’t make explicit requests in bed because what they mean is “weight this action moderately higher among your list of options” but the dude hears “keep doing this on rote until I give you another instruction”. I haven’t heard this from anyone over 30, hopefully it means someone learned something.
I definitely took the original post to be describing a terminal value rather than manifestation of something deeper, if you meant instrumental that handles a lot of my objections.
But while I’m here, another data point: I’ve heard multiple young women say they won’t make explicit requests in bed because what they mean is “weight this action moderately higher among your list of options” but the dude hears “keep doing this on rote until I give you another instruction”. I haven’t heard this from anyone over 30, hopefully it means someone learned something.