Maybe first ask your self just what we might mean by independent? It seems to me in the post you’re subtly shifting towards freedom from external constraints, which I don’t think is a fundamental aspect of independence.
Perhaps itemize your understanding of what criteria independence entails and then view that through the lens of degrees of freedom as the number or relationships (external constraints of a type) increases. I think developing the skills to navigate that problem space is one of the skills I see children needing to learn as part of becoming independent.
Tabooing the word “independent”, the sort of situations I’m trying to talk about here are ones like, do you walk your kid to school or do you teach them how to do it and then stop walking them? Do you take your kid to the park or do you teach them how to go alone? Do you make their food for them or do you teach them to make their own food? There are a lot of reasons why you might choose one or another in various situations. Age is a huge factor (a 2yo shouldn’t walk to the park alone even though they can now walk; a 12yo shouldn’t need you to walk them to the park) but of course isn’t the only one. In this post I’m writing some about how I think of these choices on the margin.
Thanks and I clearly missed the target of your posting. I sidetracked into the issue of how to chose one’s one preferred alternative when external constraints might be present that amount to choosing a lower valued immediate return rather than an longer term value.
I am a fan of teaching to fish but also knowing when that can actually be done. The later is clearly very important.
Maybe the question is not the best framing.
Maybe first ask your self just what we might mean by independent? It seems to me in the post you’re subtly shifting towards freedom from external constraints, which I don’t think is a fundamental aspect of independence.
Perhaps itemize your understanding of what criteria independence entails and then view that through the lens of degrees of freedom as the number or relationships (external constraints of a type) increases. I think developing the skills to navigate that problem space is one of the skills I see children needing to learn as part of becoming independent.
Tabooing the word “independent”, the sort of situations I’m trying to talk about here are ones like, do you walk your kid to school or do you teach them how to do it and then stop walking them? Do you take your kid to the park or do you teach them how to go alone? Do you make their food for them or do you teach them to make their own food? There are a lot of reasons why you might choose one or another in various situations. Age is a huge factor (a 2yo shouldn’t walk to the park alone even though they can now walk; a 12yo shouldn’t need you to walk them to the park) but of course isn’t the only one. In this post I’m writing some about how I think of these choices on the margin.
Thanks and I clearly missed the target of your posting. I sidetracked into the issue of how to chose one’s one preferred alternative when external constraints might be present that amount to choosing a lower valued immediate return rather than an longer term value.
I am a fan of teaching to fish but also knowing when that can actually be done. The later is clearly very important.