Fair enough—those details matter in human relationships, and it’s probably not possible to abstract/generalize enough for you to be comfortable posting while still getting useful feedback in this forum.
I do worry that a lot of LW readers’ model of society and relationships is more symmetrical in goals and attitudes than is justified by experience and observation. Other-optimization (Trying to make someone more effective in satisfying your goals) is not pretty.
In this case, I mean that I’d be kind of shocked if most humans, even close friends or romantic partners, react to “here’s a problem I see in our relationship” with the openness and vigor you seem to expect.
In general, I mean there’s often a denial of the fact that most people are more selfish than we want to project.
Fair enough—those details matter in human relationships, and it’s probably not possible to abstract/generalize enough for you to be comfortable posting while still getting useful feedback in this forum.
I do worry that a lot of LW readers’ model of society and relationships is more symmetrical in goals and attitudes than is justified by experience and observation. Other-optimization (Trying to make someone more effective in satisfying your goals) is not pretty.
What do you mean by this?
In this case, I mean that I’d be kind of shocked if most humans, even close friends or romantic partners, react to “here’s a problem I see in our relationship” with the openness and vigor you seem to expect.
In general, I mean there’s often a denial of the fact that most people are more selfish than we want to project.