I believe the world is this way because of the following two facts:
monads are very hard to get your head into;
monads are extremely simple conceptually.
This means that everyone spends a long time thinking about monads from lots of different angles, and then one day an individual just happens to grok monads while reading their fiftieth tutorial, and so they believe that this fiftieth tutorial is The One, and the particular way they were thinking about monads at the time of the epiphany is The Way. So they write yet another tutorial about how Monads Are Really Simple They’re Just Burritos, and meanwhile their only actual contribution to the Monad Exposition Problem is to have very slightly increased the number of paths which can lead an individual to comprehension.
You are very funny and have convinced me maybe possibly to try haskell again. But only maybe.