I understood that the problem is that there is a kind of automatic reaction of “oh you were assaulted, now I am going to help you very intensely for 2 years” where the unconditionality or uncontrollability and the harm from the conduct that results are the problems. Thus the problem is “I am here, whether you like it or not” and not going “I am here, if it helps you”
It sucks that people would have legitimate fears for getting such support.
I could also imagine that some parents would put the well-being of their child in front of their own psychological comfort. Doing psychological pressure in the name of easing that “something has to be done about this” is not help. I would love for it to be the case that children could rely for their parents to be on their sides in difficult situations like this. If the child models that the parents can not or will not take it in a level-headed or constructive way I guess hiding and soloing the recovery is more constructive way forward. But I would be disappointed in such parents. And I would like the children to be able to have the trust that such disclosure will benefit them. That there is coverup is a tell that things are not going according to my utopia. Like if somebody goes “Off-course I didn’t tell my layer” that is in contradiction with the design of client-attorney priviledge similarly if somebody goes “Off-course I didn’t tell my parents” I will go “wait, why not and why is that a given?”.
A lawyer is usually a trained professional. Most parents just aren’t at a comparable skill level. It takes emotional awareness to distinguish between parents themselves getting triggered and the child needing help from the parent.
There are certainly good parents who actually provide effective support to their children and who are then likely to be trusted by their children in cases like this, but it’s not surprising if someone has a parent that’s not trustworthy in this case.
I understood that the problem is that there is a kind of automatic reaction of “oh you were assaulted, now I am going to help you very intensely for 2 years” where the unconditionality or uncontrollability and the harm from the conduct that results are the problems. Thus the problem is “I am here, whether you like it or not” and not going “I am here, if it helps you”
It sucks that people would have legitimate fears for getting such support.
I could also imagine that some parents would put the well-being of their child in front of their own psychological comfort. Doing psychological pressure in the name of easing that “something has to be done about this” is not help. I would love for it to be the case that children could rely for their parents to be on their sides in difficult situations like this. If the child models that the parents can not or will not take it in a level-headed or constructive way I guess hiding and soloing the recovery is more constructive way forward. But I would be disappointed in such parents. And I would like the children to be able to have the trust that such disclosure will benefit them. That there is coverup is a tell that things are not going according to my utopia. Like if somebody goes “Off-course I didn’t tell my layer” that is in contradiction with the design of client-attorney priviledge similarly if somebody goes “Off-course I didn’t tell my parents” I will go “wait, why not and why is that a given?”.
A lawyer is usually a trained professional. Most parents just aren’t at a comparable skill level. It takes emotional awareness to distinguish between parents themselves getting triggered and the child needing help from the parent.
There are certainly good parents who actually provide effective support to their children and who are then likely to be trusted by their children in cases like this, but it’s not surprising if someone has a parent that’s not trustworthy in this case.