The potential long-term cost of this is that it doesn’t teach conflict resolution. I have a strong learned response to seek distraction any time I am uncomfortable, but I don’t want to pass that on to my children.
This is the kind of thing that works but to me feels quite not good to do—I find it pretty disrespectful of the kids. But yes, much better in many senses than other approaches.
Uh. I’m not sure what respect means here. Clearly, you wouldn’t do that with a teenager, where it wouldn’t work anyway. I’m not sure respect is a concept that makes much sense with toddlers. Maybe you can elaborate.
I feel I’m “abusing their stupidity” when I do it. It is on their benefit and so on, but I find it in the direction of not saying the truth. I know, not the most important or relevant thing to worry or spend time thinking about… :-P
The potential long-term cost of this is that it doesn’t teach conflict resolution. I have a strong learned response to seek distraction any time I am uncomfortable, but I don’t want to pass that on to my children.
True, but a cost issue. My mother (of six) also used distraction a lot. It is a cheap, quick, and low-coercive intervention.
This is the kind of thing that works but to me feels quite not good to do—I find it pretty disrespectful of the kids. But yes, much better in many senses than other approaches.
Uh. I’m not sure what respect means here. Clearly, you wouldn’t do that with a teenager, where it wouldn’t work anyway. I’m not sure respect is a concept that makes much sense with toddlers. Maybe you can elaborate.
I feel I’m “abusing their stupidity” when I do it. It is on their benefit and so on, but I find it in the direction of not saying the truth. I know, not the most important or relevant thing to worry or spend time thinking about… :-P