People sometimes say things like “I bribed my child to have an injection with a packet of crisps”.
This is interesting because this clearly isn’t a bribe—it’s a straightforward deal: I got to vaccinate my child, you got a packet of crisps, we’re both better off.
A bribe is only possible when someone is representing someone else’s interests. Then you cut a deal where they abuse their responsibility in return for some personal benefit to them.
So why do people use the term? My guess it’s because it feels dirty since crisps aren’t healthy, and bribery has been extended to mean any deal that feels immoral?
Or maybe it’s because they feel they shouldn’t have to give the child anything for them to have an injection, since the injection is for the childs sake, and a bribe is frequently an extortion you shouldn’t have to pay.
Bribery can happen when it’s already someone’s duty to do something, but they refuse to do it until they’re paid extra. The parent may think the child has a duty to accept the vaccination; either arising from the child’s self-interest, from the public interest (or categorical imperative), or from a duty to obey authority. By accepting the vaccination only when paid off with a snack, the child is acting not from duty but from desire for the snack. Thus, the child does not learn the habit of acting from duty.
Among the parents I know, the issue isn’t that kids have a “duty” to get vaccinated. That would imply a critique of their own child that’s not all all implied when they talk about “bribery.”
The word “bribe” in this context has two implications.
They are acknowledging that using external incentives to extract compliance from their kids risks corrupting their intrinsic motivation. They call it a “bribe” to humorously emphasize to other parents that they’re aware of this issue, and that the “bribe” is the exception, not the rule.
They are pointing out that shots are scary and painful, while the benefits are hard for a kid to understand. When you’re forcing your kid through that, it shows love and caring to boost their morale with a treat. This lets them be seen as a caring yet responsible parent, who cares both about their kid’s long-term health and their short term feelings.
Bribe’s a convenient, one syllable word that’s become a widely understood shorthand among parents for precisely this combination of meanings. It lets people imply a deep philosophy of parenting while also seeming funny and with it among their parent friends. The fact that it’s an exaggeration and not literally apt is part of the charm.
Could it also be understood in the sense that the child-in-the-moment is representing the child-overall? The fair transaction between adult (who wants to be a good parent) and the child-overall (who wants to be healthy) is for them to just cooperate and make the injection happen. But the child-overall’s middle-man, the child-in-the-moment, has bargaining power and wants to use this for some personal benefit (crisps)?
persuade (someone) to act in one’s favor, typically illegally or dishonestly, by a gift of money or other inducement.
I don’t think it necessarily means the person being bribed “is representing someone else’s interests,” although this is often the case, like when bribing police or politicians. I think “making a deal that feels immoral” is a good loose definition of the word “bribe.”
To me the deal with the child to get a packet of crisps in return for being vaccinated does that feel immoral and I don’t think that all people who use the word bribe in that context would say that either they or the child acted immoral.
If many native speakers use a word in a way that you think is wrong, you are probably misunderstanding them. They are probably using a different definition of bribe than you.
I feel like many folks use ‘bribe’ to just mean any positive but nonstandard reward for an action.
People sometimes say things like “I bribed my child to have an injection with a packet of crisps”.
This is interesting because this clearly isn’t a bribe—it’s a straightforward deal: I got to vaccinate my child, you got a packet of crisps, we’re both better off.
A bribe is only possible when someone is representing someone else’s interests. Then you cut a deal where they abuse their responsibility in return for some personal benefit to them.
So why do people use the term? My guess it’s because it feels dirty since crisps aren’t healthy, and bribery has been extended to mean any deal that feels immoral?
Or maybe it’s because they feel they shouldn’t have to give the child anything for them to have an injection, since the injection is for the childs sake, and a bribe is frequently an extortion you shouldn’t have to pay.
Bribery can happen when it’s already someone’s duty to do something, but they refuse to do it until they’re paid extra. The parent may think the child has a duty to accept the vaccination; either arising from the child’s self-interest, from the public interest (or categorical imperative), or from a duty to obey authority. By accepting the vaccination only when paid off with a snack, the child is acting not from duty but from desire for the snack. Thus, the child does not learn the habit of acting from duty.
Among the parents I know, the issue isn’t that kids have a “duty” to get vaccinated. That would imply a critique of their own child that’s not all all implied when they talk about “bribery.”
The word “bribe” in this context has two implications.
They are acknowledging that using external incentives to extract compliance from their kids risks corrupting their intrinsic motivation. They call it a “bribe” to humorously emphasize to other parents that they’re aware of this issue, and that the “bribe” is the exception, not the rule.
They are pointing out that shots are scary and painful, while the benefits are hard for a kid to understand. When you’re forcing your kid through that, it shows love and caring to boost their morale with a treat. This lets them be seen as a caring yet responsible parent, who cares both about their kid’s long-term health and their short term feelings.
Bribe’s a convenient, one syllable word that’s become a widely understood shorthand among parents for precisely this combination of meanings. It lets people imply a deep philosophy of parenting while also seeming funny and with it among their parent friends. The fact that it’s an exaggeration and not literally apt is part of the charm.
Could it also be understood in the sense that the child-in-the-moment is representing the child-overall? The fair transaction between adult (who wants to be a good parent) and the child-overall (who wants to be healthy) is for them to just cooperate and make the injection happen. But the child-overall’s middle-man, the child-in-the-moment, has bargaining power and wants to use this for some personal benefit (crisps)?
The definition of “bribe” from Google is
I don’t think it necessarily means the person being bribed “is representing someone else’s interests,” although this is often the case, like when bribing police or politicians. I think “making a deal that feels immoral” is a good loose definition of the word “bribe.”
To me the deal with the child to get a packet of crisps in return for being vaccinated does that feel immoral and I don’t think that all people who use the word bribe in that context would say that either they or the child acted immoral.
If many native speakers use a word in a way that you think is wrong, you are probably misunderstanding them. They are probably using a different definition of bribe than you.
I feel like many folks use ‘bribe’ to just mean any positive but nonstandard reward for an action.