I’m not sure I subscribe to this conception of choice, nor disappointment. To me, disappointment comes from a failure to believe that the world was as it is, and a sense of loss that something you’d hoped/believed is not true. And that’s not really connected to choices, which are generally about how to prioritize a multi-dimensional (perceived value over time, at least) future preference.
I think the “tough” choices are those where the net values of the options are similar (that is, it’s non-obvious), but there’s a large difference in the timing and/or certainty of the outcomes, so there’s a perceived importance of the choice (that is, it’s going to seem obvious in retrospect). To that extent, we’re agreed: these are decisions where you risk feeling like you’ve made the wrong one later.
I do completely agree with the overall advice—accept the world first, then make a decision un-influenced by your surprise or disappointment in that situation.
I agree with your definition of disappointment. And I agree that the concepts choice and disappointment are quite far apart.
My biggest point was “accept the world first”, like you said. The open question is how common the problem I tried to describe is.
I still have the feeling that not having accepted a disappointment is a common reason for choices to feel hard. That doesn‘t seem obvious with your definition of “tough” choice, though. I was going for a more narrow definition, which would make that statement more tautological. I like your definition, and mine was a bit ad-hoc.
I’m not sure I subscribe to this conception of choice, nor disappointment. To me, disappointment comes from a failure to believe that the world was as it is, and a sense of loss that something you’d hoped/believed is not true. And that’s not really connected to choices, which are generally about how to prioritize a multi-dimensional (perceived value over time, at least) future preference.
I think the “tough” choices are those where the net values of the options are similar (that is, it’s non-obvious), but there’s a large difference in the timing and/or certainty of the outcomes, so there’s a perceived importance of the choice (that is, it’s going to seem obvious in retrospect). To that extent, we’re agreed: these are decisions where you risk feeling like you’ve made the wrong one later.
I do completely agree with the overall advice—accept the world first, then make a decision un-influenced by your surprise or disappointment in that situation.
I agree with your definition of disappointment. And I agree that the concepts choice and disappointment are quite far apart.
My biggest point was “accept the world first”, like you said. The open question is how common the problem I tried to describe is.
I still have the feeling that not having accepted a disappointment is a common reason for choices to feel hard. That doesn‘t seem obvious with your definition of “tough” choice, though. I was going for a more narrow definition, which would make that statement more tautological. I like your definition, and mine was a bit ad-hoc.
Need to think more about this …