Give that the type of hot that you’re going for is “rapey but in the sexy way” is it much of a surprise that women don’t send you highly legible signals that they’re interested?
In my experience, when I’ve been going for a kind of “interesting indie intellectual” vibe (especially when trying to date nonbinary/masculine women) I have had moves made on me directly, whereas when I’ve leaned more towards what you’re describing, this basically never happens.
My point is that if you, as a man, go for Fifty Shades vibes, you’re going to have to do the escalation based on non-obvious signals. That’s a core part part of the seduction fantasy/narrative that he’s chosen to go for. If you try and be a different kind of hot, you’ll have to do different things including making fewer proactive moves, both because you’ll attract different people and because you’re playing into a different narrative.
Give that the type of hot that you’re going for is “rapey but in the sexy way” is it much of a surprise that women don’t send you highly legible signals that they’re interested?
In my experience, when I’ve been going for a kind of “interesting indie intellectual” vibe (especially when trying to date nonbinary/masculine women) I have had moves made on me directly, whereas when I’ve leaned more towards what you’re describing, this basically never happens.
He’s going for in the sexy way, not not in the sexy way (perhaps he had a typo when you read it).
My point is that if you, as a man, go for Fifty Shades vibes, you’re going to have to do the escalation based on non-obvious signals. That’s a core part part of the seduction fantasy/narrative that he’s chosen to go for. If you try and be a different kind of hot, you’ll have to do different things including making fewer proactive moves, both because you’ll attract different people and because you’re playing into a different narrative.