My point is that if you, as a man, go for Fifty Shades vibes, you’re going to have to do the escalation based on non-obvious signals. That’s a core part part of the seduction fantasy/narrative that he’s chosen to go for. If you try and be a different kind of hot, you’ll have to do different things including making fewer proactive moves, both because you’ll attract different people and because you’re playing into a different narrative.
He’s going for in the sexy way, not not in the sexy way (perhaps he had a typo when you read it).
My point is that if you, as a man, go for Fifty Shades vibes, you’re going to have to do the escalation based on non-obvious signals. That’s a core part part of the seduction fantasy/narrative that he’s chosen to go for. If you try and be a different kind of hot, you’ll have to do different things including making fewer proactive moves, both because you’ll attract different people and because you’re playing into a different narrative.