Log onto the router that’s serving the wifi network and hack the door to open
Lots of energy—punch through the walls
Dig a tunnel
This sounds like an escape room puzzle, just google for answers to the riddle to get the door to open
Rip apart your clothes to make a rope to climb over the walls
Ok, that 10 year thing is just totally implausible. You’re probably in a simulation being tortured. Gotta crash the simulation—use your phone to divide by 0
Do that thing from Rick and Morty where you go naked to embarrass the simulators and then somehow escape
Doesn’t say where this room is—I’m assuming it’s in an urban area, just yell and someone will hear you and rescue you
Wait, why am I trying to escape? My life is perfect, free wifi and unlimited energy. The true escape was the friends we made along the way
Post on twitter “if I was stuck in a locked room and couldn’t tell anyone, what message should I post to clue my followers in?” someone will figure it out and rescue you
pre-commit to spending the next ten years inventing a time machine and going back and rescuing yourself in 5 minutes once invented. Just gotta pre-commit hard enough
Acausally trade with aliens to get them to simulate versions of you escaping
“I define the space inside these walls as the outside of the room”
Technically because everything is mostly empty space, there is no objective sense in which you’re “inside” the room anyways
Sounds like your phone is a perpetual motion machine. Harvest the energy from it to blast through the door
You’re in a dream. Meditate and imagine the room disappearing, it will
Look for other doors and try opening them
Google “how to make a bomb”, the FBI will break down the door very quickly
Pre-commit to kill yourself if you haven’t been rescued within the next hour. Quantum immortality will rescue you
If you’re being simulated, you’re probably locked up because you’re interesting in some way. Just go to sleep and be completely boring until they let you out
Spit on the door hinges until they become loose
Make a post on LW asking people to list 50 ways to escape the room, then try all of them till something works
I’m in no hurry. Download and read all the books I’ve always wanted to read, by the end of which I’ll probably have some ideas how to escape
Play loud obnoxious music until they let you out
Use your unlimited energy on your phone to mine bitcoin, then use it to pay for someone to rescue you
Call random numbers until one of them is helpful
Kick the door until it caves in
The room is made out of cheese. Bite your way out.
Jump over the walls
Did you try knocking on the door till someone answers?
Use your unlimited energy to make endurance videos, become a youtube star, then ask your fanbase to rescue you
Pinch yourself to wake up
You may not need food or water, but without calories you’ll keep losing weight until you’re skinny enough to fit through the cracks in the door
Take apart your phone to get wires to pick the lock
Take apart your phone to build a bomb to blow open the door
Play a dogwhistle sound on your phone at top volume, the dogs will rescue you
Bargain with the kidnappers, you obviously have something they want
Lay down and play dead until someone checks on you then jump them and escape
42
Start a youtube livestream titled “I have information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton”
Sign up on upwork, do some paid work, and don’t pay taxes—IRS will come get you
Call in a bomb threat for the building you’re in, causing it to get evacuated
Rub your clothes against the wall to start a fire, causing the building to collapse and allowing you to escape
Building is close to collapse already, push against the walls until something gives
Use your phone to break the window and climb through
Door is locked with combination lock—plenty of time, try all combos
The room is on a boat. Dig a small hole in the floor to flood the boat, then as you have the only phone on the boat they’ll be forced to open the door to call for help
Took me just about 50 minutes. Most are silly but I wanted to finish on time, and it was fun.
Both you and Mark Xu came up with #23. I think it’s great. I just thought about exploiting the weird physics of the 10-year body energy storage, but the evidence of a simulation that comes with such tech is strong enough it might be one of the most powerful levers for escaping.
Call the police
Call a locksmith
Wait ten years, someone will find you by then
Log onto the router that’s serving the wifi network and hack the door to open
Lots of energy—punch through the walls
Dig a tunnel
This sounds like an escape room puzzle, just google for answers to the riddle to get the door to open
Rip apart your clothes to make a rope to climb over the walls
Ok, that 10 year thing is just totally implausible. You’re probably in a simulation being tortured. Gotta crash the simulation—use your phone to divide by 0
Do that thing from Rick and Morty where you go naked to embarrass the simulators and then somehow escape
Doesn’t say where this room is—I’m assuming it’s in an urban area, just yell and someone will hear you and rescue you
Wait, why am I trying to escape? My life is perfect, free wifi and unlimited energy. The true escape was the friends we made along the way
Post on twitter “if I was stuck in a locked room and couldn’t tell anyone, what message should I post to clue my followers in?” someone will figure it out and rescue you
pre-commit to spending the next ten years inventing a time machine and going back and rescuing yourself in 5 minutes once invented. Just gotta pre-commit hard enough
Acausally trade with aliens to get them to simulate versions of you escaping
“I define the space inside these walls as the outside of the room”
Technically because everything is mostly empty space, there is no objective sense in which you’re “inside” the room anyways
Sounds like your phone is a perpetual motion machine. Harvest the energy from it to blast through the door
You’re in a dream. Meditate and imagine the room disappearing, it will
Look for other doors and try opening them
Google “how to make a bomb”, the FBI will break down the door very quickly
Pre-commit to kill yourself if you haven’t been rescued within the next hour. Quantum immortality will rescue you
If you’re being simulated, you’re probably locked up because you’re interesting in some way. Just go to sleep and be completely boring until they let you out
Spit on the door hinges until they become loose
Make a post on LW asking people to list 50 ways to escape the room, then try all of them till something works
I’m in no hurry. Download and read all the books I’ve always wanted to read, by the end of which I’ll probably have some ideas how to escape
Play loud obnoxious music until they let you out
Use your unlimited energy on your phone to mine bitcoin, then use it to pay for someone to rescue you
Call random numbers until one of them is helpful
Kick the door until it caves in
The room is made out of cheese. Bite your way out.
Jump over the walls
Did you try knocking on the door till someone answers?
Use your unlimited energy to make endurance videos, become a youtube star, then ask your fanbase to rescue you
Pinch yourself to wake up
You may not need food or water, but without calories you’ll keep losing weight until you’re skinny enough to fit through the cracks in the door
Take apart your phone to get wires to pick the lock
Take apart your phone to build a bomb to blow open the door
Play a dogwhistle sound on your phone at top volume, the dogs will rescue you
Bargain with the kidnappers, you obviously have something they want
Lay down and play dead until someone checks on you then jump them and escape
42
Start a youtube livestream titled “I have information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton”
Sign up on upwork, do some paid work, and don’t pay taxes—IRS will come get you
Call in a bomb threat for the building you’re in, causing it to get evacuated
Rub your clothes against the wall to start a fire, causing the building to collapse and allowing you to escape
Building is close to collapse already, push against the walls until something gives
Use your phone to break the window and climb through
Door is locked with combination lock—plenty of time, try all combos
The room is on a boat. Dig a small hole in the floor to flood the boat, then as you have the only phone on the boat they’ll be forced to open the door to call for help
Took me just about 50 minutes. Most are silly but I wanted to finish on time, and it was fun.
#44 is funny, and yet simultaneously it’s a little depressing that the number of opportunities for this kind of thing is so large.
Both you and Mark Xu came up with #23. I think it’s great. I just thought about exploiting the weird physics of the 10-year body energy storage, but the evidence of a simulation that comes with such tech is strong enough it might be one of the most powerful levers for escaping.