I agree that “asserting what someone is doing” can also be considered frame control or manipulation. But I think it’s much less often so, or much less dark artsy, because it’s referencing observable behavior rather than unverifiable/unfalsifiable elements.
One response to frame-control-y situations is, instead of making accusations that as you say can lead to a he-said-she-said situation, to personally fall back to a more careful, defensive posture vis a vis framing, accepting that there seem to be strong framing differences among the people here, and communicating this posture to others. In other words, accepting when it seems to be too hard to directly create common knowledge about what is happening at the level of framing.
Accusations of frame control look like an example of this.
That sentence could be accused of being another exmaple.
As could that one.
And so on.
Even that one too.
I agree that “asserting what someone is doing” can also be considered frame control or manipulation. But I think it’s much less often so, or much less dark artsy, because it’s referencing observable behavior rather than unverifiable/unfalsifiable elements.
One response to frame-control-y situations is, instead of making accusations that as you say can lead to a he-said-she-said situation, to personally fall back to a more careful, defensive posture vis a vis framing, accepting that there seem to be strong framing differences among the people here, and communicating this posture to others. In other words, accepting when it seems to be too hard to directly create common knowledge about what is happening at the level of framing.