Fair point. I will edit the above to remove point-scoring criticism; if this person wanted to be exposed to it, they would’ve posted here directly. I’ll ask you to leave your comment so it’s clear what originally occurred.
That being said, they certainly have no qualms about tearing into me. Like, my response to them was not a response to “I am unimpressed” or “I have a negative reaction to this,” and I think it’s a little disingenuous or unfair of you to summarize their content thusly. It’s … an asymmetric expectation of charity? Holding a double standard? Or something like that. I’d hope you’d offer feedback to them similar to what you said to me here, to see how they respond.
I know her and she has earned some charity from me. You’re a stranger soliciting a line of credit. Also, her task is “opine on Tumblr” and yours is “benevolent dictatorship”. If you want me to convey to her that your feelings were hurt I could do that for you, I suppose.
It’s less that my feelings were hurt (they were, a little, but I’ve developed a pretty thick skin around “strangers are wrong about me”), and more that you’re saying, to me, “hey, please don’t be uncharitable or overly critical or focus on point-scoring,” and I think the point-scoring exhibited in that post would cause me, in your shoes, to make a symmetric point to my friend. It’s a consistency thing, of supporting the norms I want to see in all places, ignoring partisan or loyalty lines (being willing to call out my allies as much as I’m willing to call out a stranger or an enemy).
I guess if I were to ask you to convey a message, it would be “this person thinks you’ve jumped to unfounded conclusions, and wonders what odds you’d put on ‘I might be wrong.’”
Fair point. I will edit the above to remove point-scoring criticism; if this person wanted to be exposed to it, they would’ve posted here directly. I’ll ask you to leave your comment so it’s clear what originally occurred.
That being said, they certainly have no qualms about tearing into me. Like, my response to them was not a response to “I am unimpressed” or “I have a negative reaction to this,” and I think it’s a little disingenuous or unfair of you to summarize their content thusly. It’s … an asymmetric expectation of charity? Holding a double standard? Or something like that. I’d hope you’d offer feedback to them similar to what you said to me here, to see how they respond.
I know her and she has earned some charity from me. You’re a stranger soliciting a line of credit. Also, her task is “opine on Tumblr” and yours is “benevolent dictatorship”. If you want me to convey to her that your feelings were hurt I could do that for you, I suppose.
It’s less that my feelings were hurt (they were, a little, but I’ve developed a pretty thick skin around “strangers are wrong about me”), and more that you’re saying, to me, “hey, please don’t be uncharitable or overly critical or focus on point-scoring,” and I think the point-scoring exhibited in that post would cause me, in your shoes, to make a symmetric point to my friend. It’s a consistency thing, of supporting the norms I want to see in all places, ignoring partisan or loyalty lines (being willing to call out my allies as much as I’m willing to call out a stranger or an enemy).
I guess if I were to ask you to convey a message, it would be “this person thinks you’ve jumped to unfounded conclusions, and wonders what odds you’d put on ‘I might be wrong.’”
I don’t really see the situations as symmetrical or calling for identical norms.