Aside from being socialized to expect to be bad at analytical problems, I’d suggest (from aggregate reading about stereotype threat, feminist issues, and my experiences growing up) that part of the issue is that there’s a lot of fear of being seen to try hard and fail. It’s perfectly socially acceptable (unfortunately) for a young woman to doubt her own abilities to solve a problem and in so doing, decline to try it. However, if she’s seen struggling with something, she’s likely to encounter derision, with the implicit or explicit statement that she’s reaching out of her depth. A self-effacing attitude, or the semblance of it, is socially necessary, because while young women are allowed to be Smart, they are not allowed to be Arrogant. I can provide references for these points if needed, though I believe it’s pretty familiar ground for those at all versed in gender socialization norms.
Into purely personal territory now—take as you will—there was a time (around 4th grade through perhaps 10th) when I was that afraid of failing. If I tried a novel problem (even if no one else understood it), and couldn’t immediately figure out what to do to solve it, my (male) peers jumped in with taunts along the lines of “she’s not so smart after all.” There were several years where it felt like any major failure would utterly ruin my credibility as a Bright Girl. It was far easier to assess the difficulty of a new problem, and quietly decline if I didn’t think I could handle it.
Concerning the gender imbalance on the nerd spaces of the internet, I could probably go on all night about it, but I’m about to pass out and start drooling on my keyboard. Maybe I will go on all night about it in a separate post on a separate night.
I’ve read your conversion story on your blog, and the answers you’ve posted here so far. The most salient question, to me, has become ‘what led you to alter your belief about the existence of a deity,’ specifically. Everything I have seen thus far has apparently relied on good feelings when you have participated in services and been around Mormons (and how nice they were/are).
I don’t think you could give a less convincing account of why you should believe a god exists than that. The Mormon student I know in the lab is a kind, helpful, delightful person to be around, but so are my Catholic labmate and my atheist friends. If the general Warm Fuzzies you felt are a major part of your reasoning, how do you control for other possible sources of Warm Fuzzies?
If there are other reasons that caused you to believe in a god, those would be what I am reading this thread to hear.
And of course, if I have incorrectly understood the point of your story on your blog, please correct me.