1) Though there is probably someone suitable and willing living within 5 minutes of Jesse, many more of the people within 5 minutes of em are not. It’s hard to filter these people, and risky to get it wrong. At best, the other person is unwilling, rude or annoying. Worse, they could be unhealthy, violent, or untrustworthy.
2) Dating sites don’t optimize for efficiently starting romantic relationships. If they were really successful at this, people would spend less time on the sites, getting the sites less attention and thus ad / member revenue.
3) A selection effect (?) Many people are already in satisfying romantic situations. People searching right now are more likely to have some sort of character flaw or bad strategy which has keeps them in this situation.
How would we test these? Maybe there’s research already out there that (dis)confirms them?
A third option is to claim epistemic learned helplessness. You can believe someone knows more than you, but reject their claims because there are incentives to deceive. It’s even possible to openly coordinate based on this. This seems like something I’ve seen people do, maybe even frequently. I can’t think of anything specific, but one method would be to portray the more knowledgeable person as “using their power [in the form of knowledge] for evil”.