I understand this point of view and have considered it, but I don’t believe its quite right. For example, if i think about it only as my love and my revenge for my loved one, yes this makes sense, but i believe there is a bigger picture.
Lets change the scenario. Lets now say that I am the one that has been wronged and someone who loves me wants to avenge me do violence for me. Do I want them to? If I love them, many times, I would not want them to do violence and avenge me, because that would put them at risk and prolong their suffering. In violence terms I would think, “what if my loved one gets hurt?” “What if what happened to me happens to them?” “What if their life becomes worse because they did violence for me?”. If this violence and/or revenge would not benefit me in a great way (and even if it did really), its not worth putting my loved ones through this even if they want to because of their love for me. In this situation, I would ask that if they really love me, they make the effort to not go for that violence and revenge and instead focus on keeping themselves safe. This would be hard for them and would be an even bigger act of love if they manage to do it.
So taking this into account, it’s not that simple. Many times, true love is being willing to NOT do violence and let go, and what the person you loved would’ve wanted. Sure, many would not love and do neither, some would love and go for violence and revenge, but i believe many would also love and be even stronger and not go for violence and revenge.
I think in that story, the love was tied to violence and saved winkie from death because there was the added factor of power. The soldiers would be many and would have power to achieve the revenge without mayor negative consequences. Most people would end up worse of after a revenge. Unlike the soldiers, even if they, for example, killed the one who killed their loved one, their lives would be destroyed and may have to die themselves.
Yes i understand this primal urge for violence and revenge that you say should be tied to love for it to be real love, i agree its valid. However, i believe its overlooking the complexity of it. For example, life experience and personality. Some people will just focus on doing what their loved one thats no longer with them would’ve wanted, others have trust in the laws and justice system, others are fully aware of how pointless it would all be.
I think your point stands in the sense that willing to do violonece and seek revenge is a big component of love, its expression and how powerful it is, i just disagree with your statement that love IS a willingness to do violence. I think it plays an important part in what love is, sure, but love is much more than that, and its way more complex.