“I think it’s quite right to view a guy making a bunch of unwanted advances as rather a jerk, depending on how much he makes rejecting him suck for the targets. He’s generating a bunch of negative utility.”
Yes in that situation one would be jerk, but not everyone was complaining about a bunch of advances (and I did say that some of the grievances were justified), but even one advance or something that could have been miscontrued as an advance. If we (safely) assume the anecdotes come from people who have freely given out their number or have let a guy talk over them, then it sets a tone that the socially awkward should come off as asexual as possible to avoid offending a member of the opposite sex. That doesn’t seem like a reasonable expectation to put on others.
“upmanship and power jockeying, people who slap you on the back and call you “bro,” obsessions with alcohol and sometimes drugs, fixation on team sports and celebrities”
These seem like common narrow-interests within the general population. I find fixations with a handful of interests common with many people, it just seems that those with ASD or ASD-like personalities have interests beyond the mainstream. I am a little bothered with the pathologizing of academic interests, particularly in STEM fields, as “narrow” and “all-absorbing”. Americans obsession with football and celebrity culture is fine, but if someone has an obsession with biology or physics it suddenly becomes “narrow”.