I would invite people over and pay for takeout rather than cooking, if I couldn’t cook.
coffeespoons
Karma: 755
While might they take 2-3 hours in total to make, IME for most of that time they can be left in the oven/on the hob, and you can do other things.
In the UK at least you can buy already chopped vegetables quite cheaply. I don’t mind chopping veg these days, but when I used to hate it they were brilliant!
Also, before I learned to cook, I used to eat microwavable ready meals (which are really pretty good in the UK). I’d boil some pre-chopped* veg to go with them for vitamins etc. I also made sure I ate plenty of fruit.
*In the UK, a lot of supermarkets will sell already chopped vegetables at a slightly higher price. Buying them can improve your life (and save time) if you don’t like chopping vegetables!
Also please share any other strategies you have for making food less of a chore.
I don’t hate cooking, but when I’m living on my own I really don’t feel like spending half an hour preparing food, 10 mins eating and 20 mins washing up every night. My solution has been to make a big pot of healthy stew at the beginning of the week (eg, vegetables, lentils (or sometimes meat), tinned tomatoes, stock cube, spices). Total cooking time is about 2 hours, but after the 30 mins of preparing I can leave it on the hob/in the oven and get on with other things. I leave a portion for the next day and freeze the rest of it for later in the week.
Overcoming Bias can be interesting, but (as with the post on rape) I often feel that people like me (with left/feminist leanings) are being trolled.
Hmmm, I’m sure I’ve seen Roissy arguing that unattractive women often can’t do much to improve their appearance—that makeup etc is pointless, and that women without (for example) ideal bone stucture are unattractive (see the dating market value test). There is therefore not much room for improvement for many women. Athol Kay, in contrast, seems to think that many currently unattractive women can improve.
Mind Over Mood is ace!
Hmm, I expect it got negative points because Kenoubi is already dating someone and he’s happy dating them. Dating other girls right now might be counterproductive. Other techniques for worrying less would be more useful ATM. However, if this relationship doesn’t work out dating a lot might be good advice!
I agree that a therapist is better. I actually got the technique I discuss above from a therapist, rather than a book or internet site, but therapy is expensive, and doing exercises by oneself is better than nothing.
I’ve found a CBT* technique useful for overcoming that sort of anxiety (it’s called catastrophising). I write down the situation and my prediction in a spreadsheet. An example would be: Situation—at work, I emailed [girl]; she hasn’t emailed back yet. Prediction—She is going to break up with me.
Then when you receive an email back, you write down the outcome in a third column, e.g. received email back—we are meeting up tonight.
Looking back over the spreadsheet, you can see how accurate your predictions have been. I expect they tend to be too negative.
*CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) has a strong evidence base.
ETA: I hope that explanation is clear—I’m in a bit of a rush right now! I really wanted to explain it though, as it’s had an extremely positive impact on my anxiety levels.
I think I get better responses even on Less Wrong if I put effort into sounding friendly when I write my comment.
I am female, and it’s taken me years to come to terms with the fact that reality probably does has a gender bias, and that some intellectual differences between men and women are likely to have a biological basis. It is really unfair and really difficult to deal with the fact that (on average) being born female means one is less likely to be good at certain things.
Saying “I’m sorry reality offends you ma’am” sounds snide to me, and I don’t think it would help anyone accept painful truths about gender differences.
I started making a small monthly donation to the Against Malaria Foundation.
Agreed, but I do think it’s better to be warm and calculating!
Doug’s blog is ace. I very much recommend it!
At least in my (admittedly limited) personal experience observing my family, friends and acquaintances. Certainly the cultural stereotypes bear it out, as well.
Your perception of the people you know plus cultural stereotypes is really pretty weak evidence. I could make the following argument: In my immediate family, the men are more emotional and less analytical/reserved than the women—they tend to get angry/aggressive in response to difficult things, whereas the women seem to stay calm. Plus, cultural stereotypes bear out the idea that men are more aggressive/angry than women. Therefore, men would be more likely to take this kind of letter badly.
I’m not making that argument, but I can’t see that it would be much weaker than yours.
I don’t know! That was why I asked.
Why do you think so?
I used to be a smoker, and I went through a phase of drinking too much alcohol when I was younger (this was especially worrying as there are many alcoholics in my family). I managed to give up smoking and my alcohol consumption is much healthier now.
I’ve also noticed that I haven’t seen many people on LW worrying about how to cut down on/give up drinking, smoking or drugs. My impression is that LWers are not all that likely to do things that are self destructive in that way.