It sounds to me like you are looking for two conflicting things, trying to achieve them both at once and getting frustrated at the results. You’re trying to deepen your understanding of philosophy and participate in conversation on the subject, and you’re trying to “cure” your growing misanthropy and rediscover your love and kinship for your fellow man.
Any rational person who is above average intelligence can’t escape having some elitism. The majority of average people are, for all practical purposes, not capable of engaging with, understanding and discussing certain intellectual subjects the way most rationalists do. They might just not be intelligent enough, but beyond raw intelligence, there’s also a certain confluence of personality traits that a person needs to be motivated to put in the effort to understand and participate in discourse on complex topics which most people seem to lack.
So, you have to make a choice. Your rationality and your experience have led you to a feeling of elitism, which is pretty grounded in objective facts, the fact that you have some positive traits that a majority of average people don’t. Now, is your ability to respect and enjoy spending time with people completely conditional on their ability to participate in rational discussions as your intellectual peer? That way lies misanthropy. You’ll be constantly disappointed in people for not measuring up to your standards, and your inner teenage edgelord is basically proven right. You can try to surround yourself with only smart people and rationalists and spend your life sneering at the rest of the world, if you like. You might even be happier that way, I’m not in a position to know.
But there’s another balance that seems to me to be a little healthier. You can simultaneously respect and enjoy the company of average people, while understanding that trying to talk to most of them about philosophy would be a waste of time—even plenty of them that think they understand it. Want to get in touch with the common man? Do it at a bar or a music concert or some event for a hobby you like, try not to be condescending to them and engage with them on their level. Want to participate in the Great Conversation? Do it in venues with a lot of vetting and gatekeeping to weed out the morons. Those are two entirely separate things, and trying to do them together is a huge mistake. This may be replacing misanthropy with a kind of paternalism, but that seems better to me somehow and might even be largely justified. A lot of those philosophers you cited earlier were probably grumpy introverts in personality anyway (Schopenhauer definitely was), and just the fact that you see your own misanthropy as a problem and you want to fix it sets you apart from them.
There seems to be a disconnect here between the idea of agency you and these other articles are pursuing, and what your specific goals are. The definition of “agency” can mean a lot of different things to different people, but the version the LW community seems to coalesce around is something like “recognizing when irrational factors like social norms and emotional influences are stopping you from pursuing your goals as effectively as possible, and changing your behavior so that you are no longer restrained by those factors”. If that’s what you mean, the article you cited “Seven ways...” is probably as close as you’re going to get. There’s no magic bullet here. I would suggest doing post-mortem reviews on your day-to-day activities and trying to identify moments where in hindsight you let an irrational factor get in your way and you should have behaved more “agently”, and using those as teaching moments going forward.
Another type of “agency” that’s equally valid and fits the definition well, but doesn’t seem to be what you’re talking about, is agency in the sense of having the knowledge and skills to understand and interact with the systems around you in ways that most people don’t bother to do. Orienting Towards Wizard Power is an article that does a great job on this, and if you were just asking for more concrete suggestions to be more agenty in a vacuum I would suggest it, but it doesn’t seem very relevant to AI Safety which you seem to be focused on.
And that’s why I think this article is kind of a contradiction. You’re resting on the assumption that “everyone being more agenty” is what the AI Safety movement needs, and I don’t think that’s true. We already have established paths for people who are trying to devote themselves to the cause as effectively as possible. Either study AI and join the research effort, Earn to Give and devote yourself to making a bunch of money to donate to the cause, or focus on the social/political/marketing side and try to solve the hard problem of convincing the public that AI Safety is a pressing issue. Building more agency as an individual will help you somewhat in all of these pursuits, just like any others, but I don’t see why you have identified it as the main thing holding you and others back.