For me the time-sensitivity part was a big deal that I ran into early in my childhood. Basically, that when something makes you feel bad you think “what will I think about this in a day/week/year”. Usually the answer is something along the lines of not even remembering, or looking back on it as a funny or interesting story. It did much to improve my wellbeing and give me a sense of perspective about my problems.
My biggest problem with this way of thinking, more generally the “outthink your negative emotions” is that you can end up putting off some bad social signals. A few years after this as a kid I remember getting a detention in class and afterwards the teacher asking me why I didn’t seem put off at all. I naively responded saying that the punishment wasn’t a big deal since I wouldn’t care about it in a week anyway. Suffice to say, that wasn’t the response they wanted to hear, and to some degree with good reason. Not feeling bad about stuff means you have to be extra careful that you don’t turn your risk/mistake-aversion down too much.
I find this to be true, but only to a point. Those blind spots in our beliefs are usually subconscious, and so in non-combative discussion they just never come up at all. In combative discussion you find yourself defending them even without consciously realizing why you’re so worried about that part of your belief (something something Belief in Belief).
I almost always find that when I’ve engaged in a combative discussion I’ll update around an hour later, when I notice ways I defended my position that are silly in hindsight.
I think this is why we make the debate/conversation distinction. It’s not a perfect line, and your culture informs where it lies in any situation, but there’s an idea that you switch from “we’re just talking about whatever or exploring some idea” vs “we’re trying to dig deep into the truth of something”.
Knowing when one or the other mode is appropriate is something that’s often lacking in online discussions.
Please let me know if you are coming. I don’t know if there are even any readers in Sonoma County, so unless I hear from a few people I don’t plan on reserving the space for exclusive use.
Hello! I’m the organizer for this. I posted my contact details in the SSC thread but it looks like they got lost.
You can contact me via:
or via Discord at VivaLaPanda#6386