“the things that seem innocuous-to-me are painful-to-you, but mostly because you’ve been sensitized by a barrage of the things that do seem bad-to-me. Without those, the innocuous-to-me things wouldn’t be painful-to-you”
… seems about right.
Each of the versions you labeled innocuous is at least better; not all of them are all the way to good.
… seems about right.
Each of the versions you labeled innocuous is at least better; not all of them are all the way to good.