I originally took driving lessons in grade 12, when they were competing for my time with homework, working at the pool, scholarship applications, and actual sleep. Being in control of a large, potentially dangerous vehicle, and being clumsy with slow reaction times, was already stressful for me to begin with, and I think I developed a “driving=stress” association that causes mild anxiety every time I think about it, and major anxiety when I actually get in a car.
I don’t live at home at the moment and have no easy access to a car to practice in. (I will be living at home in the fall.)
My parents’ current car is a standard transmission. When I started learning over 2 years ago, it was in an automatic transmission car. My mother and I are both dubious that I can handle the multitasking involved without becoming freaked out.
Paying for lessons would involve spending money. I hate spending money.
I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy driving unless I do it enough to overcome the anxiety, and I probably won’t for various reasons. (Cars and insurance and gas are expensive, bad for the environment, I can get more exercise if I bike, etc.) So it drops on my priority list.
I’m currently learning to drive, and I’ve found breaking it down in to steps has helped a lot. “Learn to drive” is a crazy insane task that I could never do, after all :)
I started by addressing your #3, since the only person I had available to teach me was a friend with a manual. We spent a couple hours in an empty lot, braking and turning off the car any time someone drove even vaguely near me, just starting and stopping the car and getting used to the clutch.
Once that was done, we found a corporate lot, where we could wind around buildings and generally do things slightly more dynamic than “start and stop” while still not having any traffic to worry about (we did this on a weekend evening). That got me more comfortable with steering, handling the shift between 1st and 2nd gear, and more experience with the clutch. Since it was mostly 10-20 MPH, and a fairly empty lot, there wasn’t a lot of risk. I also didn’t hesitate to just slam the break and stop the car if I ever got uncomfortable.
Between these two, I had an environment where I could safely freak out while still learning the skill. Once I was actually on the road, I was a lot more comfortable because I knew I could at least do the basics, and about the worst I’d generally result in is another driver being a few minutes late to wherever they were going. Practicing on weekend evenings also helps, because generally people aren’t in a hurry then, and traffic is lighter.
2) This one solves itself come Autumn and you don’t seem to be particularly eager. Wait until then :)
4) Can your parents or a friend spend a couple hours a week teaching you? I will say that a calm instructor is very useful in helping to dissolve the “driving = stress” reaction. I only practice an hour or two each week, and it works fine for me. Generally we drive until I get exhausted or over-stressed, and then I hand the keys over and she drives us back :)
5) My main reason for driving is simply so that I can offer to do it on long trips and in emergencies. I occasionally go on 12+ hour drives with friends, and I’d feel better being able to do some of the work for them, especially when it’s obvious that they’re exhausted. Learning to drive is useful even if you don’t do it often, and you don’t have to enjoy it for it to be a useful skill.
tl;dr You can overcome stress, multitasking and a manual transmission, given sufficient time and lessons. Consider just not doing anything about it til the fall, but making firm, detailed plans for once you get home. If you feel you should learn to drive it’s probably worth the money, just for the extra possibilities it opens up to you.
It sounds like you still have a ton of competing demands on your time. You need to prioritise learning to drive so that you practice regularly. As far as clumsy with slow reaction times goes, I’m 27, I have Asperger Syndrome with mild sensory processing difficulties and high base stress levels and I have less than four months driving experience, definitely under 70 hours driving experience and I may have my licence by Friday and will within two months barring epic failure.
Just wait until the fall.
Get a good driving instructor and you can do it. If you can automatise the sequences of involved, complicated motions involved in competitive swimming you can learn to drive a manual transmission. Your description of lifeguarding competitively, particularly how you were well below average when beginning but became competent over time also strongly suggests to me that you can get past getting freaked out.
How much do you have saved? How much is being able to drive worth to you? What’s the just better use of the funds, the just worse use and the current best use?
Ditto, but, um, I’m not under the impression that most Canadian cities are much friendlier to pedestrians, cyclists or public transport users than in the US. If you ever want to live in the suburbs, ever, it’d be worth it
Note that a driving instructor provides you with a practice car.
I don’t drive much now, and I’m so clumsy that I’ve wondered if it’s pathological… but I learned to drive over the summer I was 18, paid for my own lessons, and got my license. I would have thought I could never do it, but it’s very possible.
Spending money isn’t really awful, I’ve learned over time. Spending more than you can afford is awful. But if you have a cushion of savings that you haven’t been using, and you spend it down a little for a one-time investment in your human capital, it’s not actually that bad. Attaching an emotional valence to how many dollars you have in the bank gets in the way of living.
With regards to the stress, enjoyment, and environmental issues: Consider that knowing how to drive doesn’t obligate you to have a lifestyle where you do so regularly. This also covers some of the financial objection, too: I’ve heard that it’s cheaper to have a generally non-driving lifestyle and rent a car (possibly through a car-sharing program) when you need to than to have a lifestyle that involves driving on a regular basis.
Addressing 1 and 5, I honestly think you’re a better person if you don’t get comfortable with driving. Ever. One of the main points of the book Traffic was that being comfortable is often more dangerous than being at high alert. Granted, you can’t always be in panic mode, but once you have learned to drive, just use the car as a tool to get things you want done, and embrace your fear. Make habits that contribute to being a better driver, like always looking at your blind spot, always go the speed limit, don’t brake so hard that a person’s head would jerk forward (unless you have to!). And maybe set challenges for yourself, both for fun and to keep you paying attention to the road. I like to pretend that I’m in a space ship with very limited fuel, so I accelerate and brake as infrequently as I can.
As for 2 and 4, maybe you can get help learning from the parent of a friend. It will be awkward, but it will help to limit emotional issues clouding the learning process because you are on your dealing-with-strangers behavior mode.
Finally, I don’t have a lot to say about manual cars. They are indeed a pain in the ass, and if you don’t think you can handle them now, then maybe you shouldn’t start with them. But if you care about Black Swan events, it might be a good idea to learn how to use one after you’ve learned automatic, just in case you’re on a road trip with a friend, who is driving a manual, and the friend has an emergency, and you need to get them to the hospital. Or whatever.
I should learn to drive and get my license.
Reasons I don’t:
I originally took driving lessons in grade 12, when they were competing for my time with homework, working at the pool, scholarship applications, and actual sleep. Being in control of a large, potentially dangerous vehicle, and being clumsy with slow reaction times, was already stressful for me to begin with, and I think I developed a “driving=stress” association that causes mild anxiety every time I think about it, and major anxiety when I actually get in a car.
I don’t live at home at the moment and have no easy access to a car to practice in. (I will be living at home in the fall.)
My parents’ current car is a standard transmission. When I started learning over 2 years ago, it was in an automatic transmission car. My mother and I are both dubious that I can handle the multitasking involved without becoming freaked out.
Paying for lessons would involve spending money. I hate spending money.
I don’t think I’ll ever enjoy driving unless I do it enough to overcome the anxiety, and I probably won’t for various reasons. (Cars and insurance and gas are expensive, bad for the environment, I can get more exercise if I bike, etc.) So it drops on my priority list.
Long-winded address to #1 and #3:
I’m currently learning to drive, and I’ve found breaking it down in to steps has helped a lot. “Learn to drive” is a crazy insane task that I could never do, after all :)
I started by addressing your #3, since the only person I had available to teach me was a friend with a manual. We spent a couple hours in an empty lot, braking and turning off the car any time someone drove even vaguely near me, just starting and stopping the car and getting used to the clutch.
Once that was done, we found a corporate lot, where we could wind around buildings and generally do things slightly more dynamic than “start and stop” while still not having any traffic to worry about (we did this on a weekend evening). That got me more comfortable with steering, handling the shift between 1st and 2nd gear, and more experience with the clutch. Since it was mostly 10-20 MPH, and a fairly empty lot, there wasn’t a lot of risk. I also didn’t hesitate to just slam the break and stop the car if I ever got uncomfortable.
Between these two, I had an environment where I could safely freak out while still learning the skill. Once I was actually on the road, I was a lot more comfortable because I knew I could at least do the basics, and about the worst I’d generally result in is another driver being a few minutes late to wherever they were going. Practicing on weekend evenings also helps, because generally people aren’t in a hurry then, and traffic is lighter.
2) This one solves itself come Autumn and you don’t seem to be particularly eager. Wait until then :)
4) Can your parents or a friend spend a couple hours a week teaching you? I will say that a calm instructor is very useful in helping to dissolve the “driving = stress” reaction. I only practice an hour or two each week, and it works fine for me. Generally we drive until I get exhausted or over-stressed, and then I hand the keys over and she drives us back :)
5) My main reason for driving is simply so that I can offer to do it on long trips and in emergencies. I occasionally go on 12+ hour drives with friends, and I’d feel better being able to do some of the work for them, especially when it’s obvious that they’re exhausted. Learning to drive is useful even if you don’t do it often, and you don’t have to enjoy it for it to be a useful skill.
tl;dr You can overcome stress, multitasking and a manual transmission, given sufficient time and lessons. Consider just not doing anything about it til the fall, but making firm, detailed plans for once you get home. If you feel you should learn to drive it’s probably worth the money, just for the extra possibilities it opens up to you.
It sounds like you still have a ton of competing demands on your time. You need to prioritise learning to drive so that you practice regularly. As far as clumsy with slow reaction times goes, I’m 27, I have Asperger Syndrome with mild sensory processing difficulties and high base stress levels and I have less than four months driving experience, definitely under 70 hours driving experience and I may have my licence by Friday and will within two months barring epic failure.
Just wait until the fall.
Get a good driving instructor and you can do it. If you can automatise the sequences of involved, complicated motions involved in competitive swimming you can learn to drive a manual transmission. Your description of lifeguarding competitively, particularly how you were well below average when beginning but became competent over time also strongly suggests to me that you can get past getting freaked out.
How much do you have saved? How much is being able to drive worth to you? What’s the just better use of the funds, the just worse use and the current best use?
Ditto, but, um, I’m not under the impression that most Canadian cities are much friendlier to pedestrians, cyclists or public transport users than in the US. If you ever want to live in the suburbs, ever, it’d be worth it
Note that a driving instructor provides you with a practice car.
I don’t drive much now, and I’m so clumsy that I’ve wondered if it’s pathological… but I learned to drive over the summer I was 18, paid for my own lessons, and got my license. I would have thought I could never do it, but it’s very possible.
Spending money isn’t really awful, I’ve learned over time. Spending more than you can afford is awful. But if you have a cushion of savings that you haven’t been using, and you spend it down a little for a one-time investment in your human capital, it’s not actually that bad. Attaching an emotional valence to how many dollars you have in the bank gets in the way of living.
With regards to the stress, enjoyment, and environmental issues: Consider that knowing how to drive doesn’t obligate you to have a lifestyle where you do so regularly. This also covers some of the financial objection, too: I’ve heard that it’s cheaper to have a generally non-driving lifestyle and rent a car (possibly through a car-sharing program) when you need to than to have a lifestyle that involves driving on a regular basis.
Addressing 1 and 5, I honestly think you’re a better person if you don’t get comfortable with driving. Ever. One of the main points of the book Traffic was that being comfortable is often more dangerous than being at high alert. Granted, you can’t always be in panic mode, but once you have learned to drive, just use the car as a tool to get things you want done, and embrace your fear. Make habits that contribute to being a better driver, like always looking at your blind spot, always go the speed limit, don’t brake so hard that a person’s head would jerk forward (unless you have to!). And maybe set challenges for yourself, both for fun and to keep you paying attention to the road. I like to pretend that I’m in a space ship with very limited fuel, so I accelerate and brake as infrequently as I can.
As for 2 and 4, maybe you can get help learning from the parent of a friend. It will be awkward, but it will help to limit emotional issues clouding the learning process because you are on your dealing-with-strangers behavior mode.
Finally, I don’t have a lot to say about manual cars. They are indeed a pain in the ass, and if you don’t think you can handle them now, then maybe you shouldn’t start with them. But if you care about Black Swan events, it might be a good idea to learn how to use one after you’ve learned automatic, just in case you’re on a road trip with a friend, who is driving a manual, and the friend has an emergency, and you need to get them to the hospital. Or whatever.